You Know Your Rights!

It's a Warning , I Just Want You To Know

You're taking my heart now
They're taking my heart now and I don't know why
And I don't know why

Alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright
The demons told me everything, they whisper in the night

This is not a threat, I promise (nope), I promise
This is not a threat, I promise
It's a warning, baby, I just want you to know - Joji Miller

Waking up next to you was like being in a dream. In my mind it was like you came into my life as the prince in shining armor coming to save me from the demons that infested my life. I was to be your wife now. You were to be mine now as I was to be yours. I wasn't sure about a lot of things in my life, but I was sure about you. I'd never let you go. Til death do we part.

My stabilizers weren't as effective as they used to be, but you were there so I knew I wouldn't need them. After all you were my drug. You were the biggest debrief and numbness in life that when I was around you I felt like I was floating on clouds.

I remember being young, and crying myself to sleep every night wishing I would die. If you weren't in my life I'd be working in a stuffy office building, trying to keep my mother content, and fighting off the urge to not shoot myself. I never thought I would ever see the light at the end of the tunnel. I never thought I would love or even like the person I was marrying, but you came in my life. And you did n't abandon me like everyone else did.

Despite this joy I just knew that it wouldn't last for long. I knew our careers, you, me, or the super unknown would come back to damn us, and drag us away from each other. 'He'll leave you.' It would constantly tell me. 'He'll break his promise, just like everyone else did.' 

I sighed and sat up on our bed. "You're a bitter fuck." I stated aloud. 'I know' she agreed contently. 'You're unlovable.' ,she stated cynically to me. I drooped my head and shoulders at the same time to admit defeat and acceptance. "I know." , I murmured silently. 

She left me that night, but I knew she would always come back somehow waiting for me to surrender completely and give the rest of my body up to her. I was tired. Reality came back into my peripheral vision crashing the dream of you and me together. Just like any drug it could only numb the pain temporarily. I didn't want you to leave me like my pills did. You were the only one who showed that you loved me. The only one who accepted me. And the only one who could even stand to be around me. The only one who ever cared for me. You asked not what I could do for you, but what you could do for me.

I laid back down allowing my thoughts to seep back into my being. When I turned around I saw your face. You were still asleep with a small angelic smile sketched upon your lips. Just like any junkie I worshipped you like you were my religion or my god. Nothing else mattered to me, but you. And without you I'd have nothing again. I want to hold onto you for as long as I can. If I could I would steal you away from the rest of the world just to prove my love for you. But it would also how desperate, and needy I am for you.

"I didn't want to wake up yet." I whispered out acting like you could hear me. I began to caress your face as salty tears began to slide down my face once more. No one could see me cry this time. But no one could see me silently die either. I curled myself back into your chest and burrowed myself into your body like it was a small home. But you were and would always be my home. Without you I'd be estranged from reality.

When I began to fall back into a deep slumber i felt your hands delicately caressing my hair like I was some fragile doll that could break underneath your weight. I then felt your lips first on my forehead, eyes, cheeks, ears, then finally my mouth. As if you could hear my thoughts and previous conversation you gently whispered out, "I'm the only one to be with you. I'll never leave you doll."

If I were more awake I would've sat up to properly hug you, but due to sleep depravation my arms just lazily grabbed onto your body o keep you in place, and to keep you mine for the rest of our days.

As if to answer my request you gently picked me up, and rocked me back and forth in your lap to calm me further and to ensure my sleep. You were always so considerate, and gentle with me. You always ignored my moody emotions, my flaws, scars, and all. You just made me feel like a regular human. It was like I was some prized doll or princess to you. And I wouldn't have it any other way. I'll be your princess if you promise to always be my knight in shining armor. I don't need a prince. I just needed somebody to save me from myself.

A/N: This is a strange chapter I know. I'm sorry if it is a mood killer, but I felt that I should address her mental illness in a much broader sense, and go into more depth. Don't worry! I promise the next chapter won't be like this. It'll be much happier. I swear.