You Know Your Rights!

Hold Me Until It Sleeps

Where do I take this pain of mine
I run but it stays right by my side

So tear me open, pour me out
There's things inside that scream and shout
And the pain still hates me
So hold me until it sleeps - Metallica

It was strange realizing being pregnant for the first time, especially for me. I never really paid attention in health class, but I guess that would explain my lack of understanding to when I found myself very much pregnant with our child.

I remember I was touring with Metallica when this happened. My band and I were hired to be the opening spots for them. It was such a strange yet amazing experience to be touring with the people who are your heroes. However, nothing could compare to me projectile vomiting near them as they just sit back and look at my band mates with looks of confusion and worry etched onto their faces.

We were all out their performing for what I'd like to say was a little over an hour. But that hour when pregnant felt like 10 hours at minimum. I was busy moving around on stage when the only thing I could feel were the cramps in my lower abdomen and the feeling of small developing hands and feet pushing around within my insides. It hurt like hell, but it was so enjoyable and tear-jerking all at the same time. 

Just having the reassurance that new life was being created from within me made me all giddy on the outside. It made me physically nauseous, but happy all the same. I was up on stage acting erratic as usual with a corset strapped tightly onto my body, and my hair flying all over the place. It was a typical performance for me nothing out of the blue.

This was all until I suddenly began to break out into a sweat. It felt like I was being punched in my stomach constantly. It was like something was trying to crawl out, and it's only way out was through my uterus or my stomach. All life seemed to freeze around me as the song I was playing only seemed to stop, along with my heartbeat and the feeling in my stomach. 

The crowd seemed to only be in shock waiting for my next move as I was just seemingly frozen in time. I'm not stopping now. They will get the show they fucking wanted and the one I deserved. I didn't work this hard to just freeze up and get the jitters up on stage. I suddenly slammed my body onto the ground, and let out a barbaric scream that was still intone to the song. The people in the crowd got wild again as I finished the song and walked off stage.

That was the most exhausting and tiring performance of my life, but was it truly worth it? It was where I felt the first movement of our little bean. Once I got off stage I rushed myself into the closest bathroom threw back my hair and threw up directly into the toilet. At least now I knew what being drunk felt like. I thought I was all alone until I felt a hand on my back holding back my hair while I vomited.

As I finished I looked up expecting to see one of my band mates. Icy and Alison were kind-hearted and were known to do this for me. They were just naturally that sweet. But to my surprise it happened to be one of the Metallica boys, Kirk Hammett. I jumped back in shock. For starters how did he know where I was? Secondly, why did he just decide to come in and help me?

"Hey."

"Hey." I muttered out shyly.

"You seemed sick so I decided to help you."

"Thanks." I mumbled out.

The air between us was so thick that a butter knife could slice through it. No words, no emotions, and no thoughts surrounded Kirk and I. All that was there was our awkwardness and shyness. We were about to walk out when he grabbed me by my shoulder gently as if to assure me of what had just happened.

"Hey that was a great performance out there."

"Thanks." I mumbled out still embarrassed that the guy that I idolized had to see me throw up at a venue he was performing at. Great. Just peachy.

"You look tired. Why don't you go home? You did good today you deserve to rest."

"Thanks. You did too."

As I began to rush out his hand gripped onto my shoulder once more. I turned around in confusion as to why he stopped me again. When I looked towards him it was quite obvious that he was flustered, as to why I didn't know.

"Hey call me if you ever need my help, ok?"

"Ok." I rushed out of that place immediately. Now that I look back at it this must've been incredibly rude, but I could care less. I just needed to be around you. It finally hit me like an atomic bomb.

'Pregnant' I was going to be the mother I never had, and you were going to be the father you never had. 'Parents. You and I were new parents!'

Once I rushed inside our small apartment I found you hunched over our small desk table writing in the pure darkness only having the dim lamp beside you illuminating your work and your tired, dreary, yet handsome face.

My body couldn't control itself as I wielded myself towards you crashing into you in the process. You seemed surprised as I began peppering your face in nothing but loving kisses. You began to chuckle at my hyper attitude and outwardly loving and expressing actions.

"Woah, what's going on? Why so happy?"

"Kurt." I then took your large hands into my small ones as I looked you directly into your majestic turquoise blue eyes. "I'm pregnant."

You stood up from your seat only to gaze down into my large candy like hazel green eyes. You swooped me from off of my feet and kissed me on my lips showing nothing, but love and adoration.

"I won't let you down, Clarisse."

"Neither will I, Kurt."

"I love you, so."

I couldn't help, but smile into your arms as you held me close and whispered sweet nothings into my ear. The pain I felt while carrying our little bean was immense, but it was nothing compared to your full heart full of love.

That night I asked you to hold me until our young babe sleeps. 

A/N: Sorry for this disgusting filler chapter. There will be some actual substance in the next chapter. P.S. Remember this whole scene with Kirk. It's not pointless, it'll develop into something important. I swear!