Diary of a College Senior

Jan 13 - To Go or Not To Go?

Saturday, January 13, 2018

To my surprise, Kaya didn't disappear from my life this week at all, at least not yet. I ended up seeing her twice this week, and both times we spent the afternoon together.

On Tuesday, Kaya and I ended up working on a project together. It is a cool project that we both signed up for during our Guinea Pig Club days back in the summer. Basically, the researchers asked for participants to make a map from their childhood experiences on an app. And the best part is the pay - $250 upon completion of the project. We couldn't believe our eyes at first.

"Do you think it's a typo? That $250?" I had asked Kaya when we first saw the poster.

"No, not really," Kaya replied. "I went to meet with the researchers and they really pay you that much."

"Hmm... maybe it will take a lot of work." I concluded.

As it turns out, the app they asked us to use wasn't too difficult to figure out. Kaya and I sat in the library for over two hours or so before realizing we were about half-way finished. During the course of the process, I learned that Kaya had moved a lot while growing up too, just like me, a fact that I never knew about her over the many years I have known her! (Maybe that's why we clicked as friends.)

On Thursday afternoon, there was a career fair for the engineering faculty students. Kaya asked if we could go together, as she has never been to a career fair before. I agreed and we met up around noon.

Neither of us bothered to dress up for the event even though most career advisors tell us to. It just felt too formal and unnecessary. Instead, we went in with low expectations since we knew most of the companies weren't hiring. We also decided to get some 'swag', aka freebies if the whole thing turns out to be a waste of time.

I was wrong. It wasn't a waste of time after all, and I was so glad Kaya was there because I realized there is a benefit to going with a friend. The first reason is because of the moral support we gave each other, and the second reason is both of us asked questions the other haven't thought of.

I had been pretty confused the past year about the direction of my career. But somehow, going to this career fair made me realize I am slowly warming up to the idea of working as an engineer again. And also, I was more selective on the type of jobs I want. For example, I knew I didn't want to work for construction companies, so I skipped them.

At a paper mill company, I talked to a really nice guy who graduated last year. I found out the company has a green philosophy and have worked hard to incorporate renewable energy in their factory. The job didn't require a lot of field work either (something I don't want to do). Everything sounded like a good fit (and I was ready to ask him how to apply) until I found out the company is in a small town five hours away by driving.

Darn. I am skeptical about moving to a small town because I have always been a city girl. So even when I move to a small town for work, it wouldn't be permanent. I'd have to come back and find another job in town later.

There was another company where I spoke with a nice HR lady who made me think I might want to work there. It was a company operating out of the oil fields - also a five-hour drive away from the city. However, this company offers an alternative working schedule where employees work around 21 days and take the rest 7 days off. They also pay you $500 to fly in and out of the oil fields every time which means you could use the 7 days to travel to anywhere in the world you want.

I had met some people living this lifestyle during the holidays in Mexico. I had been so intrigued and badly wanted to give this lifestyle a try. I was still thinking about it when Addie called me this afternoon to chat.

"Hey, I have a friend who works this kind of schedule." She said after I told her I might consider this type of job.

"Oh really? How does your friend like it?" I asked.

"Well, she has to work like ten to twelve hours a day on the days she has to work. So she pretty much just eats, sleeps, and go to work - like 7 days of heaven and 21 days of hell."

Addie's words scared me. She also told me it might be a physically challenging position, which I might have trouble doing since I am such a small girl, physically speaking.

"But that seven days though..." I replied.

"I know."

Afterwards, Addie and I talked a little bit about her plans. She is dead set on moving to Toronto, and in fact has already found an old family friend who will give her a place to live for free.

I felt kinda bad about not going to Toronto with her. We had made a pact about two years ago to try our luck in Toronto after graduation. Everything was fine until I realized the rent there is sky high and I might not be able to afford it. My family never had much money growing up so I always felt financially insecure whereas Addie - let's just say her family is pretty well-off.

After my chat with Addie, I felt more unsure of my decisions. Just two years ago, I was adamant on moving to the east. Am I making a mistake? Should I go to the mill in the small town or try for the heaven/hell scheduled job? There are just so many decisions to make. But thinking about it now, I may not even get the jobs I want. I might simply be at the mercy of the job recruiters who have the power to decide whether to give me a job or not.