Diary of a College Senior

Nov 26 - The Roads Not Taken

Sunday, November 26, 2017

This past week, I had an interesting conversation with Cindy from the research group.

Cindy is from Taiwan. She recently graduated with her master's degree and is doing a sixth-months internship in Canada. On her first day in the lab, we instantly bonded because she reminded me a lot of myself when I did my internship in Germany. I wanted to be nice to her and make her feel at home because I felt like nobody did that for me in Germany.

And so began our months-long friendship. Every Wednesday and Friday when I would put in my hours at the lab, Cindy and I would have lunch together and catch up. I'd ask her about what she did on the weekend and she'd ask me about my life here.

Sometimes, I'd bring two portions of whatever lunch I was having because I know how bland the food can get when you are cooking for yourself. And in turn, I was treated to her latest attempt at cooking and all the events happening around town.

So far, I've discovered a lot of new places around town that I normally wouldn't go to. I've also been to my first school hockey game and met numerous graduate and international students, all thanks to Cindy. (She has a curious personality and is always unafraid to try new things and meet new people, kind of like me!)

Last week, Cindy flew back from a four-day trip to Seattle, where she went to visit a school friend who is doing her masters' degree there.

During our usual lunch catch-up, she told me about all the places she's visited in Seattle (the first Starbucks, Space Needle, the glass garden) and even gave me a tiny Seattle-rain scented soap! I was delighted because it brought back fond memories of when I was in Seattle three summers ago with my family.

Somehow, our conversation took a turn, and Cindy confided in me that she was thinking about whether she should stay in Canada.

At first, I was quite surprised because she always said she would go back after her internship is over. I didn't even think she would want to stay because Taiwan, to me, sounds like such a wonderful place to live. An island surrounded by the ocean, with endless beaches, great food, and warm weather. Everything that Alberta is not.

As it turns out, when Cindy was in Seattle, her friend told her she wanted to stay in America. Apparently, her friend's mom had the choice to leave Taiwan back when she was young and never took it. Instead, the mom watched as one of her friends went to Australia and the other to America. Today, both of these friends have settled in their respective countries and are doing much better financially compared to Cindy's friend's family in Taiwan. And this is why Cindy's friend wants to stay.

"So they pay in Taiwan is not very good?" I asked Cindy.

She nodded. "It's enough to buy food and pay rent, but many people struggle to save for a house and a car."

"And how hard is it for you to stay here?" I asked.

"It takes some work, but it's possible." She answered. "All I have to do is find a permanent job to get my PR. But the job might not be related to my degree."

I told her that with the current economic conditions, it might be tougher than before, but not entirely impossible.

I also confided to her about how I felt living in Canada, especially when we first arrived.

The truth is, even though we are much better off financially compared to our extended family in China, I've always felt a tinge of regret having not grown up close to them.

I told Cindy about how I bad I felt as a child celebrating major holidays with just my parents, especially when my classmates would talk about what they did with their cousins and grandparents. I also told her how I felt bad for Zoe as she will never get to know the extended family well, especially our beloved grandparents who are getting older by the day and are an ocean away.

"So many things to think about!" Cindy exclaimed after hearing my side of the story. "I am so scared to make the wrong decision because my life could change forever."

The conversation soon felt draining, and she quickly changed the topic. But regardless, it's something that's I've often thought about this year, especially when it comes to choices relating to my career.

I ended up spending all of yesterday reading 'The Versions of Us,' which is a novel with three different versions of a couple's love story. Each version is the result of a different decision they made at a critical point in their lives.

The book made me wonder if the right decision even exists at all. It seems like everything in life is made up of choices and consequences. Maybe we've just got to make the best out of what we choose.