Nothing But Trash

Perverted lady and an eating contest! You clearly underestimated me~!

     I am made of lead. I am not a human, I am a sack of flesh holding a bunch of lead. I groan and open my eyes, staring up at the beautifully painted ceiling. I sluggishly lifted my arm, my muscles screaming in protest as I rubbed my eyes. I pouted and let my arm drop, huffing at the pain I put myself in. It literally hurt to breathe. I pulled myself up, tossing my sore legs over the edge of the bed while choking down a groan of objection.
      I walked to the bathroom and struggled to get ready, whimpering the entire time I brushed my teeth. God, I regret it all. After finally finishing up in the bathroom, I walked to the bathroom, forcing myself to take my normal long strides. I grabbed a bananas and a couple strawberries, washing the strawberries before cutting both up and letting each slice fall into the light blue bowl. I shoved a couple into my mouth before reaching down, keeping my legs straight as I forced myself to touch my toes, holding my position for ten excruciatingly painful seconds. I pulled my right leg up and propped my heel onto the high chair and began reaching towards my toe. I had to slowly inch my way down, painfully stretching the muscles out. I let the leg drop to the floor before repeating for the left. God damn, never ever exercise. Ever. The aftermath is horrible!
       I grabbed another handful of fruit and popped it into my mouth, enjoying the sweet burst of juice as I chewed. Swallowing, I began my walk outside, I don't feel like actually making breakfast and I remember there being a cafeteria from my last visit, having been covered in cake that day. I walked to the door and pulled it open before slamming it shut.
                              I'm naked!
     I squeaked and held my head in my hands, knowing damn well my face was the same shade as my hair. I hope no one saw that! Oh god, that would be impossibly embarrassing if someone saw! Ughh! I walked rather quickly back to the bathroom and picked up my semi-clean clothes, balling it up before going back to the door. I cracked it open and waited for someone to pass by. A couple arrancars passed, but none were cleaning arrancars. I groaned and continued waiting, utterly aware that I was naked behind the door. After nearly fifteen minutes of waiting for someone to pass, a cleaning arrancar passed by.
      "Hey! Miss!" I whisper shouted, sticking my head out the door. She turned around and raised an eyebrow.
      "Yes, miss?" She asked politely. I bit my lip and already knew I was blushing.
     "Do you think you'd be able to clean this for me?" I ask, pulling my head back in as my hand darted towards the clothes, grabbing the bundle and showing them a bit. The old arrancar grinned, chuckling a breathy laugh as she shuffled over to me, her grey streaked black hair pulled into a tight bun.
     "Yes Ma'am. It should be done in forty minutes." She said and held her hands out for the clothing. I gingerly placed the bundle of white in her hands and smiled at her.
     'Thank you so much! Your a real life saver!" I say, before tucking my head back into the room and shutting the door. I laid on the bed and covered myself up, waiting for her to knock or something.

     "What the--" I scream before crashing roughly onto the floor. I groan and let my hands lay to my sides, my body still impossibly sore. "Who the hell do you think you are?!" I question the person.
     "My my, what a voluptuous body!" The person says. My eyes jolt open before I squeak and pull up my legs, covering my chest as I sit up. I glare up at the woman beside me, a blush tinting my cheeks. The lady chuckles and drops the sheets, smiling down at me. I guess I nodded off while waiting for her, so she just walked in and decided to wake me up on her own. I huff angrily and pout.
     "May I ask where my clothes are?" I ask, doing my absolute best not to sound rude. I mean, she did do me a favor... I grunt and pull the sheets towards me, dragging them across the floor as I go to grab them. I drop the sheet and begin dressing, ignoring the woman's stare.
     "How shapely you are! Curvaceous in all the right places~" She teased, watching my every move. I blush profusely and pull my underwear on, glaring at the woman.
     "Can you not?! Pervert!" I accuse, although, I wasn't that threatening, being that I was still in only my bra and panties. I huff and pick up the jeans, shimmying into the tight cloth.
     "How couldn't I? You're gorgeous!" she complimented, smiling kindly at me. I sigh and nod my thanks. "So..." She began, her voice low and teasing. "How many men have you slept with?" She questions in the most perverted way I could even think of. I glance at her, my eye twitching.  
      "None you old hag!" I blurt out, my cheeks on fire.
     "Oh come on! You're telling me you haven't hooked a guy with those ample hips? Your perky bust? You're basically the definition of sexy and you're a virgin?" She says, tapping my butt then poking my breast.
      "Yes! I'm completely innocent!" I defend, slapping her finger away. She quickly smacks me in the back of my head, causing me to pout with tiny tears on the edge of my eyes.
     "I have much to teach you! I'm gonna show you all the ways to get a boy wrapped around your finger, whether for a quick fling, or just for manipulation." She says, circling me. "I'll even give you tips on how to get that one boy you want to spend the rest of your life with!" She chirps, stopping in front of me.
    "I don't have one of those, and I never will, lady!" I clarify. She rolls her eyes and clicks her tongue.
    "For now. In the mean time, I'm going to show you how to show off your curves and use them to your advantage.." She says, swaying her hips expertly. "I'll show you how to flirt, all the rights and wrongs of body language.." She continues. "I'll make sure you use your womanly charms to the best possible." She finishes, and for the next hour she teaches me simple things I would've never thought turned guys on, or ways to sit and stand and walk to practically scream sexy, and how to say things in a way that a guy would never be able to turn down..
     It was stupid, weird, and impossibly useless if you ask me, but it was really fun and interesting. By the end of 'class' it was nine o'clock and she'd decided she'd visit me and give me more 'lessons' when ever she could.
      I rolled my eyes as she walked out before grabbing my sword and strapping it to my hip. I walked out of the room, and after a minute or so of walking I noticed I'd been using her tips on how to catch a guy's eye just by walking past them. The worst part is, she was completely right. I got even more attention than normal, and it truly scared me that her knowledge was true... And even worst than that, is the fact that I'm subconsciously using these tips.
     I finally managed to find my way to the cafeteria and walked to the little buffet line and began picking up random breakfast foods, piling my plate high with pancakes. I drowned it in syrup and placed a couple berries over the top before grabbing another plate and dumping a massive spoonful of eggs onto it, then stabbing at least eleven sausages and scraping them above the eggs. I then grabbed a large cup and filled it with milk and easily balanced the pancakes in one hand, the cup of milk in the other, and the eggs  on top of my head.
     I looked around the cafeteria and decided to sit at one of the empty tables near the front. It only took me seconds to reach the table and set the food down before I plopped onto the seat and began pigging out, eating like a... There is nothing to compare how I eat. It's just...
     "Woah." Some blue haired guy said, staring at me, clearly awe struck. "I don't even think I eat that much, woman!" He said, grinning like a madman. I finished taking a drink of milk and whipped the mustache off before looking up at him and grinning.
      "How 'bout we test it?" I challenge, my green eyes determined against his electric blue. Slowly a smirk spread onto his face before he walked to the buffet and began filling his own plates. I followed suit after quickly shoving the rest of my previous plates into my mouth. I trailed behind him and copied everything he did, doing my best to make sure we were completely equal. Soon enough, after many trips back and forth between the line and the table, our table was crammed with stacks of food.
     We glanced at each other and silently counted down. Five.... Four... Three.... Two... One!

     I groaned and slammed my face hard against the table, tilting my head to the side to see my opponent doing the same thing. No, I still don't know the bluenette's name, but I do know he's one hell of an eater! We'd gone for seconds at least three time, constantly refilling the entire table up and giving the kitchen staff one hell of a busy day.
    "I-it's a tie..." he mumbled, his eyes shut tight in pain. We had eaten an equal amount, so I guess that's true.... I groaned, but got up and grabbed a stack of pancakes and slowly ate it, watching the bluenette's eyes go wide in horror. "You'll go this far just to beat me?!" He asks, getting a simple nod as I continue eating. it took me a solid ten minutes, but I finished off the pancakes.
     "I win!" I chirp, smiling a toothy grin. The bluenette rolls his eyes and grins at me, nudging his shoulder against mine.
     "Actually, you beat me a long time ago. I cheated!" He said smugly. "And remember how you ate all that food before I even came? That plus me cheating... You totally one. And those pancakes? Wow." He breathed and gripped his stomach again, cringing at the pain. I pout and whack him in the back of the head.
     "Ass!" I near scream, but I couldn't help but let the grin slide onto my face. We laughed and talked about how we ate, teasing each other and making fun of how stupid we looked. Soon enough we drifted off into other conversations and well, we became quick friends.
     "What's your name, anyway?" I ask, ruffling his blue hair.
     "Grimmjow. Grimmjow Jeagerjaques, Espada number six." He introduced, smugly pointing out his rank. I rolled my eyes and mocked him in a high pitched voice. Grimmjow rolled his eyes and elbowed me.
     "So, how long have you been here for?" I ask, curious how long Aizen's been reigning this place.
    "A couple months, I guess. I don't really remember." He says, nonchalantly linking his hands behind his head as he stood and stretched.
     "Oo!" I sound, straightening my back. "Do you know where they have all the clothes?" I ask, eager to get some new ones. He simply nodded, so I grabbed his hand and drug him to my room, sitting him on my bed as I went to the bathroom and grabbed the clothes I refused to wear. I guess I can either return them or get them tailored
     "Lead me!" I say and mock salute him, bundle of clothes tucked between my arm and chest. Grimmjow laughed and saluted back before walking out. We made simple small talk about the buildings and he explained where a lot of places were and how to get there.
     "Oo, Grimmjow's such a badass, he knows where the girls bathroom is." I tease in a low tone, grinning at him.
     "I also know how to spy on girls while they're changing." He offered, smirking down at me. I opened my mouth in mock shock.
    "Grimmjow? A perv? I'd have never thought!" I said, rolling my eyes.
    "Like you aren't, Suki!" He accused.
    "I'm not!" I defend, near laughing.
      "Mmhm, sure! I know you think I'm hot~" He teased, pulling off his jacket and slinging it around his neck. By now we'd stopped walking and were just standing in the hall, bright blue and violent red standing out quite clearly in the white hall.
     "Oh, is this supposed to turn me on?" I ask, running my hand down his chest.
     "Are you saying it doesn't?" He retorts, grabbing my hand and holding it against his chest. I swallowed and licked my lips, glancing down at his chest before returning my gaze to his eyes.
     "And if it did?" I mutter, my voice low. I took a step closer as i locked my eyes on his. He quickly backed me up, pressing me against the wall as he breathed lightly onto my neck.
     "I'd prove just how much..." He whispered huskily into my ear, "of a perv you are." He finished.
    "I don't think you'd be able to..." I licked my lips, "handle me." I ended as I raked my nails lightly down his chest.
     "You clearly don't know me, sweetie." He smirked, his sugar sweet breath fanning out in hot waves against my neck as he took another step closer.
     "You, my friend..." I mumble quietly against his neck as I slid my lips slowly up to his ear, "are underestimating me." I finish before pushing him away, walking further down the hall before turning and winking at him(1). I grinned as he caught up to me and we finally reached the clothes room, the little scene easily forgotten as we continued our casual newly-found-best-friend talk.

1.) Oh my god guys, how'd you like the scene?! XD I promise you, there is nothing between the two. It's just a best friend relationship, I swear. They're just really close ^ ^ You know, flirtationships? Thats what they have :D Nothing serious, this IS a Ulquiorra Cifer fanfic!

I have put this story under editing, for all of those new readers! I promise the first, like, ten chapters will be better! XD You can go back and reread, if you want... (Really no need, it's the same content.)

Um, yeah, editing started 5/28/14, and idk when I'll finish XD

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