The Boy With The Voice

How Do I Fix This?

I stare at the clock, waiting for that final bell signaling the long school day is done. I tap my foot impatiently on the ground, and feel a slight touch on my shoulder. "Taylor, please stop with your foot, class will be done very soon." The teacher says, looking annoyed.

I do a quick nod and look down, feeling a tap on my shoulder. I turn around to see Megan with a confused look.

Honestly this girl knew me too well, and she knew I wasn't telling her something. Was I really that much of an open book?

I turn back around, not knowing how to respond. I wasn't really in the mood for one of her speeches, she would just tell me what I was doing was wrong. She doesn't have to tell me though, I know. I just can't help it. Brandon was so great, and so was Kayden, but I felt Kayden was losing interest in me.

It also didn't help the fact that he didn't attend the same school as me. This way I didn't see him as much. But Brandon I would see everyday.

Brandon was so caring and nice, it would be hard to let him go. Then again, I knew that deep down, Kayden meant so much more. Brandon didn't seem like a guy I would want as a boyfriend, yet I couldn't help but wonder what we would be like as a couple.

My thoughts were interrupted by the bell. I grab my bag, turning around to face Megan.

"What's going on?" She says, slowly picking up her bag, looking as if she was suspicious.

"I think I love two people..." I say, knowing I didn't need to say more. She understood what I meant and I could tell she just wasn't interested in asking who else I loved.

She knew I wouldn't tell her who. Megan just read me like an open book, she learned what she should and could, and would never ask me.

She nods, trying to process what I told her.

"Ok." She says blankly, and begins to walk out of the classroom, with me following behind.

"So like, are you breaking up with Kayden?" She asks in curiosity.

"No!" I say a little too loud. "I'm just confused... Kayden changed my life, and has been nothing but good to me, I barely know Brandon." I say, automatically regretting what I said.

"Wait." She says, looking shocked. "You mean that quiet dude, who is always so mysterious?" She says, a smile appearing

"Well, I guess..." I mutter, not saying much more. "Hey I'll call ya later, I have to go." I say, and walk out of the room, attempting to look casual. I just wanted to go outside and talk to Brandon, I think I was just going to let go. He wasn't my type, he was sweet but I knew I would end up choosing Kayden.

I step outside, and find Brandon standing against the wall. "Hi, sorry I took so long, I got caught up." I shout over, and he nods.

"So look, I don't think this would work out." I say quietly, looking down. "Us."

He stares into my eyes, sadness taking over. "But why?" He asks, stepping closer to me, entwining his fingers into mine.

"Brandon, I'm dating someone, I already hurt him." I tell him, and he nods slowly, looking as if he was trying to process everything I told him.

"So we just forget about the feelings we had for eachother?" He asks, his eyes growing darker. "I'm sorry Brandon." I say quietly. "Whatever." He says, running off, placing his hands over his face. I could just imagine the tears, and guilt took over, I hurt two people in one day.

I lean up against the wall, looking down. I try to ignores the glares coming from my classmates, everyone saw what happened and they were probably just going to ask for details about Brandon. No one cared, no one. I feel a hand on my shoulder, and I find Julia staring at me. "Hey Tay, what's wrong?" She asks, her face face filling with concern as she sees my blotchy red face. I had been thinking about Kayden and Brandon so much, I hadn't even noticed I was crying.

"I- I have to go." I say, running away, tears streaming down my face. The pain was taking over, and I wasn't ready to talk to anyone.

I keep running, wind blowing through my hair. I just wanted to get away, I wanted to hide.

After running for what seemed like forever, I stop. It was getting cold, and I knew I had to go home. My vision was blurry from my tears, and I harshly rub my eyes.

Taking a look around, I automatically realize where I was. This place had so many memories.

This was the abandoned road, and the only thing that showed life here was the barn that was on the side, leading to a big field. When I was around 8, me and Nicole used to ride our bikes here all the time. It became the place we went to whenever we had our "secret meetings". Just sitting in the field and talking was one our favorite things to do.

Then I remember how she just stopped talking to me one day. I had asked her to meet me at the field, and she said that was a childish thing we did in the past. I never knew why she just left me like that. It had left me in so much pain.

I start to walk through the field, taking the short cut I used to always take home. Each step I took brought back a memory, but they made me feel better. Even though Nicole and I had a rough past, everything that happened in this field was good.

Taking one last look back, I turn around to walk home. With each step, my sadness that had disappeared arrived yet once again.

The field wasn't very far from my house, so about 4 minutes later I enter my neighbor hood. I started to remember the memories I had with Kayden, and I wonder why I messed up. Why can't I go a day without something going wrong? I was so sad, I just couldn't cry anymore. I felt like I needed to, but the tears just didn't come.

When I reach my house, I run and unlock the door, running up stairs. I enter my room and throw on some random pajamas, get under the covers of my bed, and I just lay there. After an hour of laying in bed, I begin to wonder

How do I even fix this mess?