Amalgamate

Seven

This can’t be happening

 

I can’t let her go just like that

 

But I can’t run after her

 

I don’t know why

 

She’s my life

 

I want her in my arms again

 

I want her back

 

It hurts so much seeing her walking away from me. My world is falling apart. I can’t do this. I can’t let her go. I love her so much. I cannot live without her. She means the world to me.

I miss her so much already

But I won’t lose hope. I’ll wait for her no matter what happens..

 ------------------------

Months passed. The boys didn’t know about this. I tried to be strong for my career and I tried to smile through the pain. But sometimes it’s just too obvious and most of the time, I always forgot the lyrics. The pain gets worst, especially when I’m singing our song, Strong.

My hands your hands, tied up like two ships

Drifting, weightless, waves tried to break it

I’d do anything to save, why is it so hard to say it?

But I didn’t do anything. I think I’m stupid enough for her.

 

“Zayn what’s happening to you? Are you alright? It’s your turn now!” Our choreographer asked me.

“Um yes, I’m fine. I just a bit tired” I lied.

“Okay guys let’s take a break!” Our manager announced.

I sat down on the chair trying to focus on the tour rehearsals, when I saw Harry coming towards me. I wiped the tears away and smiled at him, “Hey” I said. “Are you alright? Is there any problem?” Harry asked, sitting next to me.

“I just can’t live without her bro”

“You and Lian broke up?”

“Yes.. For her studies”

And then I saw Niall, Liam, and Louis coming to our direction. They all formed a small circle and gave a concerned looks.

“Bro, what’s up? You know we’re always here for you” Liam patted my shoulders.

“He and Lian broke up” On behalf of me, Harry answered Liam’s question.

“Why?” Niall asked in a concerned tone.

“It’s because of her studies. She said she needs to focus on it, probably her father commanded her to..” I can’t hold back the tears while saying those words

The boys were giving me a concerned look and waiting for me to finish.

“to breakup with me. Last December, we parted ways in Hyde Park. And I just let her go” I couldn’t help but cry as hard as I can. Real men cry.

“Bro, I understand how you feel. You know, your decision was right. You also need to give her time for her studies, especially that she’s going on master’s degree, right? And time will come that you two will get the chance to continue your love, trust me. God will give you the best, in the right time, and in the right place.” Liam advised

“And bro, cheer up! She’s very proud of you right now. Don’t lose hope bro, I know she still loves you no matter how many pizzas will be baked.” Niall joked, making all of us laugh.

“Just look on the bright side Zayn. There’s a greater opportunity in everything” Louis smiled

“And don’t forget that we’re always here for you, Zayn. We’re brothers and we should always help one another” Harry reminded.

I smiled and looked at them, “Thank you so much lads..  It’s really hard to accept but having you guys here cheers me up.”

We all laughed and hugged each other really tight, that’s us.

 

We went back in rehearsing and I was able to adjust a little. But pain is still active in my heart.

 

The rehearsals are finally done. On my way home, I couldn't help but think of Lian. Did she eat already? How is she doing? Then I tried to send her tons of text messages..

“Lian I love you so much”

“Lian I promise you I’ll wait”

“You’ll always be in my heart forever and always Lian, I love you”

“Always take care, I love you I miss you so much”

“I love you so much baby”

“You’re still the one”

“I love you" ....But no reply. I tried to call her too but she didn't  answer. She probably changed her phone number.

 

I miss her.

 

I love her so much.

 

 ----------------------------------------------------

finally zayn’s pov haha :)