Amalgamate

Nine

 hi guys! mm this is a long chapter, i worked on this for days and yep tomorrow's my first day in high school!! excited but nervous at the same time. oh and someone's going to change.. it might be good.. or bad.. so if you want to know, you better stay tuned!! :) 

 -------------------------------------------------------------

Tuesday, April 8, 2014 – 11:26 in morning

 4 days after my welcome home surprise party, I decided to walk around in Hyde Park and relax a bit. I wore my Vince Cashmere ombre sweater, light wash jeans, American flag high cut sneakers, and the necklace that Zayn gave to me. I looked at the mirror to fix myself for the last time before going out. I admired the necklace, held it and thought of Zayn.

This is the first time I wore the necklace. I didn’t wear it immediately when mum gave it to me, though. There was someone in my head that tells me not to wear it until now. I don’t know why, but I miss him so bad.

I grabbed my coat and went to my father’s office to inform him that I’ll just go to Hyde Park, and I’ll be eating lunch outside. Mum is out with her friends, it’s their Tuesday ritual. And as usual, dad is always busy working. “Alright, take care of yourself.” Dad stopped working just to say that. I smiled and said, “Thank you.”

I started the car engine and drove off to Hyde Park. This is my favourite park though. But then while driving I remembered that this was the place where Zayn and I ended our relationship. I let out a heavy sigh, trying to reduce the pain. It still hurts, even though I focused on something really hard for years, but I needed to sacrifice. It’s for the both of us. I imagined on what would happen if I disobeyed my father. He probably kicked me out of the house and revoked my studies in University of Oxford.

But then love is kind. Love never gives up; and its faith, hope, and patience never fail. Love is not ill-mannered or selfish or irritable. I sacrificed our love because I love him so much, that I’m willing to do anything for us. I don’t know why I love him, I just do. I trust him, I always do. And that trust might bring us back together, because I believe that he still loves me.

I remember his smile, his beautiful brown eyes, his laugh, everything. I love the way he gets jealous or huffs on me, even though he gets rude and moody sometimes. He makes me laugh when he does that. Honestly, I love the way he smoke, even though I wanted him to stop. I love it when Zayn tells me that I’m beautiful just the way I am, and that my imperfections makes me perfect. I used to steal his clothes while he’s on tour, it’s my cure whenever I’m missing him.

It made me laugh when I remembered that. We used to tease each other about stealing clothes and just end up cuddling together. Zayn used to hug me from behind, and I love it when he does that. Fans go crazy when they see us together, hand in hand, and it motivates us to keep on showing our love for each other. I don’t care about the rude comments of the fans that were against our relationship, because Zayn being at my side all the time kept me strong.

I love everything about him, I love everything about Zayn. He’s my everything, he’s my life.  He’s always there for me no matter what happens, and I always make sure that I’m always at his side as well. He’s my happiness whenever I’m sad. He’s my strength whenever I’m weak. He’s my courage whenever I feel terrified. He’s my best friend who’s always there for me.

And I’m ready to forgive Zayn for all the mistakes he did, especially when I went to his house and break things off. It was my fault, I didn’t informed him little by little before ending it. I probably shocked him and at the same time infuriated him. People makes mistakes because no one is perfect, but God.