I'll Be Holding on to You

bacon

I had all the nightmares that night, and in the morning woke up gritty-eyed and desperate for nicotine. I could smell food and coffee downstairs but I wasn't able to get that far.

I sat in the window and alternated smoking a thc-heavy bowl and a cigarette, watching Cam sleep because seeing him breathe was calming on several levels.

Pretty soon Freak came in with a cup of coffee and two pieces of bacon for me. "Your smoke is drifting into my brother's precious kitchen," she said, sitting.

"I'm so hungry." I put out the cigarette since it was over. "I hope none of this was for you," I said through a mouthful of bacon.

"And bacon is the answer to all my problems today," she recited, hitting the pipe. She blew the smoke in my face. "When I am disturbed it is because some person, place, or thing has taken my bacon." She smiled at the inadvertent rhyme, and her braces were so freaking cute I had to look away.

I finished the coffee and looked at Cam, asleep curled up as always. "Lazy fucker," I observed.

She slid down from the windowsill and pulled me toward the door. "By the way, we're having a pool party at Freddy's later."

Something in her voice made me ask. "We? Who's we?"

We were at the bottom of the stairs and she gave me a sheepish grin. "You know who we is. I know we don't want anyone in our houses, right, but we figured the backyard at Freddy's is cool."

I gave her such a look. "Wait, wait, wait; those people you wish we hadn't met? That we're not going to be letting in the group and shit? Those ones?"

She shoved me, not too nicely. "They're not in the group, Dorienne. They're coming over to swim. You telling me you don't want to see how hot ya girl is in a bikini? Fucking lies."

You're my girl, I corrected her mentally. "I don't know if I have the social energy for all that today, dude."

"You'll find it," she assured me, then shook her head. "I'm in trouble, girl. I can't stop thinking about him."

My heart sank as we walked into the kitchen but I kept my voice light. "Alright, alright, then I guess we can go."

My parents were gone and Freddy was still asleep, but Evie and Mo were at the counter eating bacon, toast, eggs with cheese, biscuits, sausage, and strawberries. "Really, guys?" I asked, surveying it all. "Having a little bite?" I shoved a piece of sausage in my mouth. Bliss. "Sorry, pigs everywhere, I totally am. Can't help it. You taste so good."

Evie was shaking her head at me, amused. She had her siren wig on, lavender and teal and sky blue, shimmery makeup, and a dress that suggested a mermaid tail. "Ariel's sister," I said, pointing at her. "Aquata? Andrina? Arista? Attina? Adella? Or . . . Alana?"

"You're ridiculous," she demurred. "Seriously." She picked up her camera, which I hadn't seen but should have known was there, and took my picture.

"Dat girl," Mo said in his best Sebastian voice.

"First you bat yo' eyelids, like dis," I mimicked, doing so. 

"Den you pucka up yo lips, like dis." Erika leaned in with a mischievous look like she was going to kiss me and I pushed her. 

"Get off me, Freak. I swear." I should be so lucky.

She smirked and went to the bathroom.

"You look kinda wrecked," Mo observed.

"Hey, thanks a lot, Moey. Jesus Christ." I took his whole plate. "For that you lose your breakfast, which is now my breakfast, and haha to you, sucker."