Fragile | klance

11. Allura / Lance

After Lance had stormed off, Allura was left shocked. Mostly shocked because of what he had said, but also because of the fact that he was the one to defend him. Not even Shiro did or even tried to make an attempt to. Since when did those two become friends? 

She sat there for a few hours. Not doing anything in particular, mostly cooling off and thinking of what she would say to Keith. Now that she thinks back to it, she had been unfair. Very much so. Lance was right, which surprised her. She wasn't used to people talking back to her. Usually, she just gets what she wants and it is left at that.

When she finally decided that it was time, she began her trek towards Keith's room. When she knocked, though, no one answered. "Uh- Keith? Hello?" She called out. The door opened and, to her surprise, Shiro walked out. "If you're not here to apologize, then I suggest you just leave." He told her before stepping around her and out into the hall. 

She walked in the room and saw Keith sitting on his bed, looking completely terrible. He had his blanket wrapped tightly around his shoulders, face red and swollen, and his ears were pinned tightly to his head. Her breath hitched at the sight. "I- uh. I came here to apologize. If you'll accept it, I mean." She looked down because she did not want to see what she had done to her strong paladin.

Since Keith did not reply, she took it as a go ahead to continue. "Lance talked to me. He told me about humans. How they kill people all of the time.  How there are bad people, good people. He said that you had always proved yourself to us on several different occasions. That the red lion chose you. That you are still the same Keith as before. You didn't just turn galra. You have been, and I trusted you before."

She continued, "and I am sorry that I was treating you unfairly. Ghastly even. It's just- the galra took everything from me. But that still does not give me an excuse. You did not kill my family, and I was wrong about you, Keith. You are strong, trustworthy, smart, and I am sorry." Allura finally looked up and saw Keith looking back with wide eyes.

"..Lance?" He asked quietly with a shaky voice. "Yes." she confirmed, "No one else said anything to me. But he confronted me. The others even tried to get him to step down. He yelled at them all, a voice I had never heard before, and he put me in my place. I was out of line, and he knew it. I was surprised. Still am. You must be really important to him." She smiled softly.

Keith stands up and she is about to ask what he is doing, but he opens the door and runs out. At first she is concerned that he is still made, but she concludes that he is probably going to see Lance.

Lance is laying down on his bed, thinking. He looks down and sees the series of bruises trailing down his chest. He presses softly on each one, hissing at the pain. He remembers as a kid, his older brother Manuel would donate platelets and bone marrow to him. Lance always felt bad for taking those things away, but Manny always told him that it was fine, that he was okay. Sometime they would miss events because Lance would suddenly relapse again. 

He remembers chemo. How he would try not to eat, because he knew he would just throw it up anyways. Sometimes at night he would cry because his body hurt too much. Even now he can feel his body aches, and not from battle. His family was so happy when he was accepted into the Garrison. When they first found out he had cancer, they were all scared they would not be able to see him grow up. 

He had made it all the way to the Garrison. They got to see him grow up into almost adulthood. Lance misses his family even more than before. He knows he will most likely die up here in space. He doesn't want to die without seeing his family, even if it is inevitable. Lance sat up and goes towards the desk where he draws. 

He grabs his pen and takes a piece of the paper-like thing. He begins to write. 'Dear team, I will most likely told you before, but in case I didn't I want to say it now. I am sick. I was diagnosed with Leukemia when I was younger, and have lived with it since. I did chemo, and my family donated things to me. I know we do not have that kinds of stuff while in space. So I want you to do something for me. If I die due to my sickness and not while fighting, do not tell my family. Can you tell them that I died while protecting the universe? I don't want them to know that their son died a pathetic death. It will most likely be very painful. I will probably cry a lot. But I don't want them to know that. Please and Thank you. Sincerely, The Blue Paladin, Lance Mcclain.'

'Dear Allura, I am sorry for all of the times I have been loud and flirted with you. I did not mean to annoy you. If you are reading this than I am most likely dead. I like to think of you as a sister. We never really talked much, but I guess that is my fault. There is an earth thing where people say, "the show must go on." And it must. Don't stop fighting without me. I want you to pilot the blue lion. She will probably be happy to have you as her paladin. Make sure to polish her every five quintents. Thank you. Goodbye. -Lance.'

The pen fell onto the floor, but Lance did not make a move to grab it. Thick, salty tears are rolling down his cheeks, and some into his mouth as he hiccups softly. Suddenly a knock resonates from his door before it opening. "I heard you defended me," Keith says. "And that nobody, not even Shiro, tried. But you did. So I- I wanted to thank you."

Keith paused when he took notice of the soft hiccups. "Lance? ..Lance. Lance look at me." Lance shook his head as he took a deep breath, trying to will himself to stop crying. He feels a hand on his shoulder, and hears Keith's gasp when he sees what he is doing. Keith snatched the letter directed to the team. Lance tried to stop him, but like always, Keith had faster reflexes. 

Keith scanned over the paper in his hand and looked at Lance with wide eyes. "Oh Lance.." He whispered quietly. Lance shook his head again and tried to stop himself from crying. Tried to be strong in front of Keith. He didn't want anyone worrying about him. Keith grabbed his hands and pulled him up, dragging him to the bed. Keith held him close and rubbed his back as he cried. This was Lance, out in the open, at his most vulnerable. And Keith did not take advantage of it.

He felt the throb in his chest again at it. It was so unfair. That he could have Keith so close. That he could have Keith laugh with him. That he could have Keith hug him and hold him like he was precious. But not in the way he wanted, not the way he needed.