Fragile (adj.)
1. Easily broken or damaged
2. Flimsy or insubstantial; easily destroyed
3. Not strong or sturdy; delicate and vulnerable
Lance and Keith are both sick, and not the kind of sickness that could be helped by love and chicken noodle sou...
There is something absolutely distasteful about being a defender of the universe, despite the fact that you are saving entire planets' lives. You save everyone at your own dispense. The nightmares, the trauma, the wounds, and not to mention that war is never good for anyone's mental health.
Shiro has learned these things. Has accepted them. But that doesn't mean that it makes it any better. He is proud with the fact that he can lead something as powerful as Voltron. That he was chosen to do so. But at the same time, it is hard.
He hears people congratulate him. Tells him what a great job he's done. That he is a great leader, that he is so strong, and so brave. And he can't but hear that and feel pressure. Feel that he has to be a great leader, be strong, and be brave.
But the thing is, he isn't always those things. When something goes wrong, he blames it on himself and his inability to lead. Sometimes he feels as if he isn't trying enough. That he needs to be stronger, better. And honestly?
He's fucking scared.
He chuckles darkly at that. Who would've thought that Takashi Shirogane was scared? Well he is. Everyday he is scared. Scared to die. Scared to let his teammates or planets die. Scared to fail. Scared to be a let down. Scared to make the wrong choice.
But being a paladin is his job. And he's not about to let planets die just because he is scared. Because guess what? Those people out there? The people who are being invaded and shot at? They are scared too. And he's gonna save them. He's gotta.
Allura walks into the room wearing a weird expression. "Allura? What's wrong?" Shiro asks nervously. "Oh. Uh- I just realized something." She vaguely tells him. "And what was that..?" He prompts her. "Just that.. Keith and Lance seem rather close don't you think?" Shiro raised his eyebrows in surprise.
Now that he thinks about it, while they still have their little "rivalry", it has become more playful banter more than anything else. It even seems as if they have become friends. They are more gentle to each other. The fond gazes cast to each other when the other wasn't looking. The dopey smiles, the giggling, and the closeness- Shiro stopped his train of thought and squinted in suspicion.
Wait a minute...
Everyone leaves me, Keith thinks as he holds Lance's sleeping figure. Everyone leaves. And for what? Is it something that he did? Is it because of something he didn't do? Maybe if you believe in reincarnation you could say that Keith was a bad person in his past life.
Maybe he did something that he doesn't remember? And this is God's way of punishing him? Whatever it is, all he wants is to be forgiven. Keith knows that he isn't the best person, but he knows that he doesn't deserve this.
First his mother leaves him, then his father, then Shiro, then Shiro (again), and now Lance? God damn it. He knew he shouldn't have gotten close. He knew it, and yet he couldn't help but be pulled in by the blue paladin.
He was like a small seashell, nothing compared to the ocean that was Lance. Every time he found himself on the hot, dry sand, he was pulled back into the water. Pulled in by the tides that were in Lance's eyes.
And he knows that he has fallen hard for the other boy. From the way that he can always lighten the mood. From the way he always puts others before himself. From how he is always so determined to save every last inhabitant of every planet, and won't give up until it is done.
He knows he adores him from the little things. Like how he is always fidgeting, body begging to be up and moving. To the small freckles adorning his cheeks and nose. So small you can't see them unless you are close and know where to look. From how he sticks his tongue out slightly when he is concentrating on something.
And he knows he loves him from his everything. How he saved Coran from that explosion, a complete stranger. How he received third degree burns and had to go into a pod asap. How when he got out of said pod he refused all of Coran's apologies, saying that there was nothing to be sorry for.
From the way that he is a good listener. Even if he doesn't look like he is, he is listening to every word you say. He knows the most random things about everyone. Because he goes out of his way to get to know them, to be their friend.
He loves the scars on his body. It proves how brave he is and now much he has been through. Lance may not like them, but Keith definitely does. Lance also doesn't like his lankiness. Says it makes things hard sometimes. That he can't gain muscle and is weak.
Lance has all of these insecurities, yet Keith can't see any of it. All he sees when he looks at Lance is the most beautiful living thing ever. He's all Keith has ever wanted. He loves every single atom that makes up Lance Mcclain. And now Keith finds out that he is dying. He is going to leave Keith all alone. Just like everyone else.
And he will still have to fight in this war because guess fucking what? The universe doesn't stop for any of us. He's going to have to pilot his giant red robo lion, even though all he will want to is lay down in bed and never get up again. The team will fall apart. They weren't just losing their blue paladin, their sharpshooter.
They were losing a brother, a best friend, a comrade, a son, and a love. No one can replace that. And it sucks. Keith registers the tears falling. Lance isn't gone yet. There is still time. He pulls Lance closer to him and kisses the top of his head, praying to any deity that will listen, Please let him feel the same way. Please let me love him. Please let me make it easier for him.
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