Me and My Thoughts on Literally Everything

uft

Can I just say...

I AM SO MAD RIGHT NOW.

LITERALLY.

I HAD ORCHESTRA REHEARSALS TODAY, AND I SWEAR TO EVERYTHING PANCAKE RELATED.

THE VIOLAS CANNOT PLAY.

THEY PLAY LIKE THEY JUST PICKED UP THE INSTRUMENT A MINUTE AGO.

ok, all except one. BuT STILL.

AND NOW WE HAVE TO DO PASS OFFS. AND I GET VERY ANXIETY FILLED WHEN WE HAVE TO DO PASS OFFS. I DON'T LIKE THE IDEA OF BEING IN A ROOM WITH TWO CONDUCTORS JUDGING ME PLAYING. ALONE.

Im not mad at my conductor. I think he deserves way less hate then he gets, but like, the violas are what I'm pissed at.

They can't even play a simple rythm. They can't even play the notes in tune.

I'm not telling them to have perfect pitch. That's something someone is born with. But after playing for like seven million years (exaggeration) you'd think they'd at least have relative pitch.

But noooo, they can barely play at all.

I'm so mad.

I'm not saying that I'm a perfect player. I'm nowhere close. But at least I have relative pitch. At least I know rythms.

So I'm not confident all the time when I play. I can work on that. That isn't something that happens after a while of playing. It's something you have to feel.

Ugh.