Me and My Thoughts on Literally Everything

Sooooooo..

I don't really know. I know that I'm supposed to be the one with a handle on things, but really, I'm not. Ask anyone, I'm way more of a mess than if a tornado came through and blew everything around. 

Likewise, they'll also say that I'm too much of a hothead, too quick to lose my patience. They never let me show them that I can have so much patience though. That's why I'm good around kids, and I suppose that's also why kids like me. 

What can I say? Kids, my family, and my very close friends are under my wings so to speak, and I get very protective. 

Anywho, back to having a handle on everything. Definitely not a good description of me. I'm trying to be more calm and collected, which isn't really working all that well, but whatever. I'm also trying to do more of these rants, let go of that white knuckled grip that I have on my emotions, trying to hold them out rather than clutch them close to me. You know, that kind of thing.

It isn't easy to do that. I've had a hold on my emotions, tying them down and protecting them for my own safety. I don't know that it's affected me, but it probably is affecting the people around me. 

We have to write poetry for my English class, and I suck at writing poetry. It doesn't make too much sense to me, which is why I very much prefer simply just writing. I have no clue what to write mine on, because we have to present them in front of the class. Any way we twist it, I'm going to feel super embarrassed reading poetry in front of everyone. 

I'll figure it out. I kind of have to at this point. 

I still have "[Just a] Simple Sponge" on loop, because at this point, it's become a motivational song for me, and it doesn't get boring at all. Talk about a win-win. I don't know why I would need motivation right now, I'm in a very calm mood at the moment, and feel rather motivated, if I do say so myself. 

Perhaps it's to head off any unmotivated feelings, I really don't know.

Once this year ends, everything changes, and that could be a good thing, but it also would mean losing this great orchestra I'm in. However, if that happens, you guys better believe I'll try everything in my power to visit the orchestra, because I really can't forget about them. Likewise with my best friend. 

I gotta go now, peace!