Me and My Thoughts on Literally Everything

Maybe...

Maybe I was acting a little irrational yesterday, maybe I was overreacting, like my supposed friends say that I do. I don't know anymore. 

I haven't turned on my phone at all today. Well, it's my dads old phone. Mine stopped working for some unknown reason and we haven't been able to fix it. 

Anyways, that isn't the point. I've avoided turning on my temporary phone for a couple of reasons, I suppose.

A) to avoid snapchat, which is where these people I thought were friends lurk. Turns out, they might be the monsters of my nightmares. 

B) I need a break from social media as of right now. I know wattpad probably counts, and so does discord, but you better believe I'm not taking a break from writing or ignoring my best friend.

C) I'm under quite a lot of stress right now, which includes the following:

~I have an orchestra concert on the fourteenth, and we're playing two pieces as a separate orchestra, and Hamilton as a symphonic orchestra (and we still haven't gotten one part of the hamilton pieces which is great)

~exams are coming up, and everybody is studying which is stressing because I don't study ever, but now I'm thinking I should. I just don't know how to start

~so, I may or may not have mentioned this here before, but I might be moving during the summer, which is great because it means that I'll have to leave my best friend for two years until we try to get into college together. 

~I might be going to Lebanon this summer, if we can move to an apartment at the location and have everything out of our current house, and have the house on the market by, at the very latest, two weeks into summer (my estimate, not my parents)

~Ramadan is coming up, which is great, because I love it so so so so so much, only the muslims will understand what I mean, but I'm mentally preparing for that. 

~My phone has legit stopped working for no reason whatsoever, and we don't know how to fix it, but my dad yelled (not really yelled, chill) at the people who manufacture the phone, and that was awesome, let me just put that out there. He didn't yell at them, he pulled a Sean Spencer on them, really (if you watch Psych, you'll know what I'm talking about)

I think that's about it.

D) I don't want to see what people are up to in the world, at this moment, I could care less.

That should be it for now, that's really the only reasons why I've avoided turning on the phone. 

I don't know, was I overreacting? I'm kinda conflicted about it. Half of me, the half that's been altered by those monsters in human skin, is telling me that I am, and the other half, the half that's strictly me and my own thoughts is telling me that I'm not. 

I messaged one of the supposed friends yesterday, at one point. It was a rash decision, really. The other day, on Friday, my best friend and I were going to the football field to watch this stupid  school olympics thing, and we passed her on our way in. She stopped to talk to my best friend, and seemed to see right through me, like her stepsister did. Even after she promised she wouldn't start ignoring me. I know that I shouldn't let it hurt me as much as it is, but it really is. I don't take broken promises lightly, to tell the truth. 

I know when I go to school tomorrow, I won't be able to act as though nothings changed. Truth be told, I can't keep up the act of acting as though I don't notice people looking at me like I'm the most stupid being on earth. I won't be able to act as though everything is just fine when it's really not. 

I guess that's all I have to say on the matter. I don't want to go back on the thought of wanting adventure. Even if it means putting my life on the line because the adventure may be so dangerous, I really, honestly, want an adventure.