Quotes as the Marauders

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Okay, I am writing the other houses Headcanons but it's taking a while, they will be up soon, I swear! Anyway, to fill the time and not completely abandon this book like my last one (...whoops), I'll do something I've always kind of wanted to do and put quotes I've overhead that the Marauders would say #marauderstrashandproud

...and I get to use the new divider thingy I made of punctuation, GONE are the days of bullet points (Jokes, I'm way too attached)

(Bonus points if you can guess which ones I said...)

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Sirius: Okay, we actually need to be productive and revise for twenty minutes without talking or we will fail

James: Okay, we can do this, it's only twenty minutes, how hard will it be?

One minute in

Sirius: DAMN I THOUGHT IT HAD BEEN AN HOUR, HOW HAVE I GOT NOTHING DONE

James: THANK GOD, I THOUGHT IT WAS JUST ME!

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Professor McGonagall: James, Sirius, what colour paper would you like?

Sirius: Pink

James: White

Sirius: Huh... guess you're just not as confident in your masculinity as me...

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Professor: We all need to do something for Charity, maybe do something with your friends like a sponsored silence or a fun run!

Sirius: Hey Remus, do you want to do a sponsored fail and make us all look better?

Remus: I hate you

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Peter: Oh no, look over there, there are loads of blind people and they're all walking on that big hill! They're all going to get hurt, we need to help!

Remus: ... Those are litter pickers, Wormy..

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Sirius: Would you kill Moony if the world would end if you didn't?

James: I guess if the world would end, I would

Sirius: ... Wow, I can't believe you would kill Moony

James: Only if the world would end if I didn't!

Sirius: Realistically though, that scenario wouldn't happen!

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Sirius: I don't want to imagine Wormy having sex, I think he'd just lie there and do nothing

James: The only thing worse than that is imagining Snivellus having sex

Sirius: I feel like he'd just rock back and forth like he was on a see saw

Remus: I shouldn't be laughing this hard, this is just cruel

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Peter: So I then I said I was the only straight person at the orgy and everyone stared!

Remus: It wasn't an orgy, it was just a pile up of people!

Peter: Yeah, but I want people to think we're cool

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Lily: And then it got uncomfortable because she just leant over and was like 'I'm not done' and then they began making out on top of me

Marlene: Wait, she's bi?!

Sirius leans around corner and does a smirky wave

Sirius: Hey Ladies...

Marlene: You're not slick, we know exactly what you heard and why you're here

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Sirius: I crave the attention, yearn for it even and once I get it, I don't want it...

Remus: Is he okay?

James: He always gets like this around 3 o'clock

Sirius: I hate walking at night, I feel ogled, torn apart by the male gaze! I'm more than just an attractive person!

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Sirius: I think I'm going to sleep now

Lies down in clothes

Remus: No, get up, pyjamas! Come on!

Sirius: But I'm so comfy

Remus: No! You cannot go to bed in Leather!

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Peter: Hey do you remember when we were younger and I made you a scroll out of paper and loo rolls at the end?

James: ... No

Peter: Seems fitting, you weren't very impressed at the time either

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Sirius: Hey Prongs

James: What?

Sirius: I hate you

James: ....

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James: I have a better idea. Instead of having your free, you could come and join me in double Potions!

Remus: Yeah, I think I'll pass...

James: Wow, friendship really means nothing these days

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James: Thanks Peter, you're a true friend who doesn't insult my dress sense all the damn time!

Sirius: You only own one pair of trousers! You deserve to be ridiculed!

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Yeah, so that was fun if a little pointless but I enjoyed it and it makes me realise that sass is all around us. I have no idea what the bonus points for guessing which ones I said will be but maybe one day I'll start a raffle or something and you can get a prize. I don't know what the prize will be. Popcorn? Oreos? I can't do all the thinking here - E x

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