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F*** Riverdale Season 2

... I hate it. I liked the first half but now I'm really not enjoying it at the moment, to the point where I almost want to stop watching. Riverdale Season One had some major flaws *cough cough* Mrs Grundy (Why was it portrayed as a victory when she wasn't sent to prison? She was a Child Predator!) and the fact that Kevin and Joaquin got like a minute of scream time but overall, I enjoyed the plot and despite all the hate on it, I actually liked it.

Season Two however, started off strong but I still didn't like it as much except for that one really good Halloween episode so here is me bitching about why I don't like it because I want to rant.

WARNING: THIS WILL CONTAIN RIVERDALE SEASON 1 AND SEASON 2 SPOILERS SO IF YOU'RE NOT CAUGHT UP/CARE ABOUT SPOILERS THEN DON'T READ ON

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Romance > Friendship

... according to Riverdale anyway. So in Season One, we got to see Archie and Jughead being friends and Betty and Veronica being friends, even in just casual ways. Like Archie and Jughead being roommates, having little jokey conversations as well as discussing more personal issues. With Betty and Veronica, we got entire episodes dedicated to them like the slut shaming Chuck Clayton one which I really enjoyed. Also we got lots of scenes with Cheryl and Veronica and their bizarre on/off friendship like the sleepover one. We got to see Kevin and Betty together.

Now in season two, namely the second half, all we're getting is Varchie with bits of Bughead. But that feels like it, it's suddenly all about romances, Betty and Veronica haven't spoken in weeks, Jughead and Archie's bromance has faded into shitty Agent Adams plot line (That was just ridiculous) and why do we need a Varchie sex scene in every episode? At first it was like great, they're frenzied in a time of death and it was good to see sex not shied away from but now I feel like they put it in just for shirtless KJ Apa. Not complaining but... actually I am complaining so yeah.

Like just give me Beronica or Jarchie scenes! I want to believe they're friends because friendships are just as important as romance!

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They're literally moving at the speed of light

RIVERDALE WRITERS: SIDE PLOTS CAN LAST MORE THAN AN EPISODE

Like we had that whole one where Betty annoyed Kevin by complaining about his sex runs in the forest and he was apparently mad at her and then like next episode they were fine. Or Betty being forced to cut Jughead and Veronica out of her life, that could have been a three episode plot yet it happened in the space of literally an episode and by the end, all was better! It just gets annoying that they feel the need to rush through it so quickly and waste genuinely interesting ideas (This was a bit of a problem in Season One... Val but not as bad).

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Where the fuck is Cheryl?

She was a key character in Season One who had emotional development and played a large part in her Brother's murder and now she just seems to come in occasionally to watch her Mum fuck men on the settee or to give a few sassy lines that remind us she exists. She could have plots too, like the whole 'She's obsessed with Josie' thing seemed interesting and she gave her that back massage and it was weird and then... nothing. I swear they literally haven't spoken since, not have Josie and Reggie or Josie and Chuck.

Also does Jason just not exist now? Cheryl seems like the kind of person who would constantly be remembering him yet I think his name was mentioned once. And nothing happened from the Clifford Blossom thing either, it just feels like they don't know what to do with her... scratch that, they do, they're just not doing anything with her so we can focus on Archie and Veronica having sex on a fur rug.

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The Case of the Disappearing Mystery

Season One felt really suspenseful and the whole town had a kind of gloomy aura to it which I loved. All the shots seemed to contribute to that, like the beautiful one of the three girls watching the slut shame book being burned and the soundtrack was nice and it was so cinematic. It felt like every episode revealed more about the town and showed how everyone was so connected in a web of lies.

Also I loved how we slowly got to see more of the character's lives and watch the town slowly unravel before us and it felt like every episode we learnt something new whether it was Jughead's Dad being F.P, the serpent who had appeared around or that Jason and Polly were engaged and slowly everything fit together really well.

In season two, it feels like they've lost that intrigue and mystery. I know they couldn't keep revealing things forever but they could go more in depth about Mayor McCoy and the Sheriff or explore the past more. Also the lack of one mysterious plot has made the show just drift and it's upsetting.

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Nobody gives a flying fuck about Mr Svenson

Why was he the Black Hood?! (Yes, I know he might not be the real one but still). With Clifford, we had known him for the whole season, seen how he treated Cheryl and slowly got to know him more and more so when he killed his son? I was a little bit shook.

But with Mr Svenson we met him like four times, once when he was checking on Josie, once when he walked in on Cheryl giving Josie a weird arse back massage, then that bit where Veronica and Archie confronted him and finally when it was revealed he was the Black Hood. I just didn't care and it felt so anti-climatic.

I was rooting for it to be Hal or Tall Boy or literally anyone else but Mr Svenson! At least introduce him from the beginning or something but don't just spring a new character on us like we're supposed to care.

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Archie and the Mafia

... I can't fucking even with this plot. Firstly, he doesn't need to be involved, we could already get this plot with Veronica which would probably be way more interesting. Secondly, why is he so stupid? A random man appears in his garage and says he, a teenage boy, is the best hope at catching a crime lord and he ... believes him? Surely he would at least tell his Dad... is he even around anymore? Who even knows. This guy was so clearly not legit.

And the scene which cracked me up was when Hiram throws a poker game which Veronica says is 'really exclusive' and only a few people get to go and then.... Pops is there? Like I get it's his Diner but why does Hiram trust him so much? Also can someone give Pops a day off like that man works all the time, when does he sleep?!

This plot is just weird and I really don't care for it at all.

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So there is my rant about Riverdale Season Two and why I'm not a huge fan. Asexual Jughead is another big thing for me too but that's not Season Two that's just Riverdale in general. Like Bughead is great but give me Asexual Jughead any day - E x