"It's in the past, so it doesn't matter,"
Has never made sense to me
Its been twelve years and my voice still shakes.
It's been eleven years,
And I'm still terrified of what a man can do to me.
Its been ten years and my legs still refuse to dance
Its been nine years
And I will forever replay the word worthless in my mind
Its been six years
And the thought that I could lose a friend like she did still strikes me every day.
Its been three years
And I still replay those pink shutters turning black.
It's been two years
And the words they said still stain my memories
Its been six months
And 27 days
And I still miss the boy who saved my sisters life.
They may be bigger.
I may be different.
But I will never hear "doesn't matter"
The same way you do.
If it still hurts you,
It matters.
I walk away because you won't listen
And it hurts
It hurts knowing
I'm just the angry one to you.
When that's not who I am.
The past will a ways matter to me.
I can move on and be better
But it still
Matters.
