My 2018 Diary

1/30/18

     So my life has been slowly changing which has been awesome! This past week I've really been trying to work on myself and there are a couple things I really want to do this semester.

     First I want to start putting myself out there. I want to meet a few new people and potentially set myself up for friendships. I'm going to do this by going to a German conversational group for beginners. I might've mentioned it before but I've never really been into clubs, in high school or in college. This is definitely a start in getting involved on campus.   It meets ever other Wednesday starting tomorrow. I know I could use the extra help in talking and in this situation I'll not only be forced to talk but it will also be in German.

     Second and I know I've mentioned this one. I really want to get healthy. I think it's mostly been centered around my weight though. Yes I still want to loose weight but I just want to live a more active lifestyle. So I started today. I went to the gym on campus, it's really nice. It's the first time I'd ever been there. I had a decent workout today I'm just so proud I actually went! I'd really like to go every Tuesday and Thursday maybe eventually even Saturday. I don't want to necessarily force myself to go, I really want it to be a constant choice to go. Oh and I saw one of my coworkers from concessions at the gym his presence pushed me to go farther.

     Anyways I've really been trying to focus on me this past week. I had slowly lost myself when I started being in a relationship that I no longer recognize myself. I'm trying to find me again. I'm trying new things I never would've thought about doing before. For the record I am still with Zach even though many people have tried to get me to leave him. I'm not sure what will happen I still think we will probably come to an end eventually but I'm not worried about him or our relationship right now. I'm solely focused on me and I don't give a shit when he bitches about me not answering the phone. I need to figure what I like and who I am and I think a big reason I haven't broke up with him yet is because I no longer recognize myself and therefore I'm scared to be alone with this person. I'm changing that though. I need to do this for me.