withering leaves ❁ yoonmin

IX

Apparently, when the doctor said Jimin would need a lot of sleep, she really meant it. Before he got sick, Jimin would be an early riser, sometimes even beating Jin-Hyung out in the mornings. But now, he would go to sleep at 9:00 and wake up just after seven. Not to mention the naps he took whenever he could in the studio. He still coughed out flowers at least once a day, though. It seemed his body was trying to fight off the illness as best as it could.

The Hyungs made sure that Jimin followed the doctor's orders diligently. He drank enough water a day, he never missed a meal, and always took his medication right after he finished. Although, sometimes the medication would cause him to become nauseous and throw up his food. It seemed that even though his diet wasn't as strict as everyone else's, he still wouldn't be gaining any weight.

He was becoming weaker, too. Just a few practice runs of a song would wind him, sometimes even to the point of coughing up more flowers into his palms. He could no longer lift Taehyung or Jungkook, like he used to whenever they would play-fight together, and working out every week became a chore.

No one wanted to mention it, but they all realized that Jimin was slowly dying.

Jimin still tried to remain the happy virus, though. When the camera was on, he held up a mask-smiled and joked around with his bandmates. Everything seemed normal. No one ever mentioned his Hanahaki to the fans. And he would like to keep it that way.

Jimin also found himself envying Jin and Namjoon's relationship. The two were truly destined for one another. The way Jin would playfully berate Namjoon for cutting the onions wrong, or spilling a cup of water on himself. And how Namjoon would be furiously scrawling lyrics into his notebook, only to put it aside when Jin sat beside him. Their relationship was perfect.

Why couldn't Jimin's be like that?

So here he was, in the practice room, using Yoongi and the mirror to support him. He curled in on himself, Yoongi pulling the younger dancer to him and letting him lean on his shoulder. It may have been a bit of a bony pillow, but comfortable nonetheless. And when Yoongi leaned over to press light kisses to Jimin's hair, his heart unwillingly started to beat faster.

He sighed and leaned back into the pleasing warmth.

Oh.

That was another side-effect of the Hanahaki. Jimin was always cold. Even if he was in the dorms, where the heat was turned up to it's maximum setting, and he was wrapped in three blankets and at least two other members. If his skin was warm, his core always seemed to be cold. Like his stomach contents had turned to ice and the blood pumping through his heart was chilled. He let out a tiny shudder, one that originated in his neck and ran down his spine and limbs.

Yoongi took notice of Jimin's shiver and pulled the dancer in closer.

"You want to go back to the dorm yet? I'm sure Sungdeuk-nim will understand."

Jimin simply shakes his head. "'m fine. Just wanna rest for a bit."

That wasn't a lie, Jimin did want to rest. But preferably somewhere more comfortable and not in a room that's constantly pumping AC. It's just too damn cold.

The rapper hums and leans farther into Jimin. "Okay. I'm glad you're not pushing yourself, though."

"Trust me, I would if I could."

Yoongi smacked him on the thigh lightly. "Yah. Don't joke about that. You're just like your Hobi-Hyung, you know that? Don't stress yourself out, especially now."

"I'm not going to use my Hanahaki as an excuse to slack off, Hyung. I still need to be putting in the same effort as all of you do."

"You're not slacking off, Jimin, you have a condition that prohibits you from doing strenuous activities. There's a difference," his voice didn't rise but it was getting more forceful, something he did when he was getting annoyed, or wanted to make a point. "Your main focus is not the band anymore, it's on getting better."

"I think we all know that me getting better is impossible at this point."

"Jiminie, don't say-"

"I'm going to say it because none of you will realize it," Jimin cut him off. "Or maybe you do realize it, but you just don't want to believe it. I'm not going to find my soulmate, Yoongi-Hyung. There's just no way."

"There is a way. We'll get everyone that was at the park. Or even in the whole goddamn block. All of us would search the world for you, Jiminie."

"Hyung, that's impossible."

"Nothing is impossible. You never know, your soulmate could even be a trainee here at BigHit-"

"Hyung, no. We'll never be able to track down all the people that were at that festival that one random night, and I'm not going to kiss every single person we come across just to find my soulmate. I'm sorry, I've kind of given up at this point."

Yoongi suddenly grew angry, and Jimin swore he could feel it in his chest. Like a sudden arrow to the heart, and then a churning in his lungs. It physically hurt Jimin to see Yoongi mad. He kept quiet about it, though.

Jimin wasn't all that surprised when Yoongi suddenly stood up, but he just quickly shifted his weight so that he wouldn't fall over. The rapper paused there for a moment, looking like he wanted to say something. Instead, he turned on his heel and briskly walked out of the practice room.

"Yoongi-Hyung?" Jungkook turned as the door closed, flinching at the loud slam that echoed through the room. He turned back to Jimin with wide eyes, and scanning his body for any signs of an injury or god forbid another cursed flower.

There was a sort of crazed look in the poor maknae's eyes. The older feared if he even thought of Jimin getting even sicker than he already was, Jungkook's body wouldn't be able to take it. He was probably the strongest physically, but soaked up emotions like a sponge; if any of his Hyungs were in pain or hurting, Jungkook would be the first to know and the one to feel it the most.

It was honestly such an unfortunate situation. As strong as Jungkook's Hyungs tried to be, there were just some things you couldn't shield the maknae from. And if it pained Jungkook to see his Hyungs hurt, it also pained the Hyungs to see their dear youngest hurting, too.

It was a cycle that just went on and on, and never really had an end.

"I'm fine, Jungkookie," Jimin mumbled over the music, even if it was just a lie. "Yoongi-Hyung just got angry and had to step out for a bit."

Jungkook gave him a look that oozed disbelief, but he decided not to press further. When his part in the choreography came back on, he started to dance again, framed by Hoseok and Taehyung.

Jimin felt a pair of eyes on him from the opposite corner of the room, and turned his head to meet Seokjin and Namjoon's gaze, both studying him with an unreadable look.

After a few moments, neither half of the soulmate pair had said anything, and just turned back down to the phone screen they both were sharing at that moment.

Huh.

Weird.