withering leaves ❁ yoonmin

XX

April 12, 2014

I never really wanted to write this lett

the words were crossed out with a simple blue line in ballpoint ink.

.

April 12, 2014

I'm really sorry for doing this without a warning but I ju

in contrast, these words were messily scribbled out with the same blue ballpoint pen. in some areas, the pen had dug so deep into the yellow notebook paper that it tore. a few lines down, the writer restarted.

.

April 12, 2014

I'm sorry. I love you.

You have no idea how long those words took me to say. I thought that maybe I was just being stupid or that I had gone insanse because there's no way in hell that you would ever love me back. But I still love you. And yes, it's taken me two years to realize and, yes, you have a soulmate somewhere out there who's not me and who won't die soon but I can't ignore it anymore. I love you so much.

Jimin-ah, thank you for making this life worth it. Thank you for being the single star in my dark, dark world. When all I could see around me was darkness, you were the one bright thing I had. And sure, you were so far away I couldn't even touch but you were still there. I could still wish, hope, dream. Thank you.

.

"Hyung, go home right now!" Jimin growled in frustration when Namjoon's phone went straight to voicemail.

"Jimin? What are you talking about?" Seokjin asked from his spot in the passenger seat. He looked over his shoulder at Jimin, sharing a glance with Sejin who was driving the van. "We're heading home right now."

"Go faster! We need to get home right now!"

.

Jimin-ah, I know your Hanahaki disease isn't as bad as is should be. The day after you were diagnosed professionally, I spent hours upon hours alone in my studio researching about the disease. When everyone thought I was writing music or working on tracks, I was reading books and sending emails to all the professors and doctors I could, trying to find a way to help.

Your soulmate is somewehere out there, Jimin-ah. And your soulmate is in love with you. That's how you've lasted so long.

.

As soon as the manager parked the car in the parking structure close to their apartment, Jimin tore out of the van and to the elevator to get to their fifth-story flat.

Seokjin and Sejin caught up just before the elevator door opened, both panting from the exertion of running after Jimin. "Calm down, we're already here!" Seokjin panted, passing Jimin the messenger bag he left in the backseat.

Jimin was still clutching the yellow notebook paper in his hand, ushering Sejin and Seokjin into the elevator. Barely glancing at the wall of buttons, he jammed his finger into the one labeled as the fifth floor. Seokjin looked disturbed at his ardent movements. "No! You don't understand! We need to be faster."

"Jimin, I don't know what's gotten into you," Sejin mumbled as the elevator began its ascent into the apartment building. "But you can't be this frustrated. If you keep acting this way, especially with your Hanahaki, you might go into Soulmate Shock."

"It doesn't matter! Hurry up already!" Jimin exclaimed, darting out as soon as the elevator doors opened on their floor.

He arrived at their door, hastily tapping in the code. Somehow, he had mistyped and the door buzzed in anger.