Hey guys.
I know it's been a while, and i know I worried all of you....
Probably.
But I can explain why I was gone.
So, Thursday, I had a REALLY bad panic attack.
Like, I went full toddler mode, I refused to be touched, I wouldn't speak, and I had to be carried out of my school in a wheel chair.
I spent The rest of Thursday just calming down.
Friday, however, I was thinking all day about the cause of my panic attacks.
The cause I don't tell anyone.
Dysphoria.
More specifically, gender dysphoria.
In short, I hate being female.
I don't feel me.
I haven't felt me in a long time.
And it's killing me.
Every time I'm left alone with my thoughts, a quiet class, or being alone, my mind takes over.
"You're lying to everyone. You're lying to yourself. What happened to never telling a lie, Kaylee?" I would tell myself.
I would cover my head to try and drown it out.
"You're useless when you lie. You're horrible. Lying to those you hold dear. Why? Why hide it?"
I would start to cry. My breath would hitch, and my attack would start.
But, I'm over it now.
I'm coming out.
IM A FUCKING FABULOUS TRANSGENDER MAN.
MY NAME IS ZACH.
I AM ME.
