Shadow Rider (Vampire Academy Fanfic)

Chapter 49 - Thanatia

Ending the call with Rose had me feeling a little peculiar. I hoped to god she hadn't gotten the wrong impression about me. I wasn't panting because of being in bed with Ash - I was panting from exertion. Ash had offered to carry me back to my room, but seeing as my room was literally on the opposite side of the Court, I'd refused. He'd offered me support as I half-dragged my feet, trying to keep up a reasonable pace.

Casimir had healed my body, but the fatigue I felt wasn't physical - it was mental. I had pushed myself so hard, come so close to breaking point that now I had no energy left. I felt...lazy. All I wanted to do was slouch or sleep or eat. Speaking of eating...

'Um, Ash,' I asked gently, as he settled me into the comfy couch I had barely gotten to use in my time here, 'do you think you could possibly grab some food for me?'

He grinned, no doubt biting back a comment about how much food I ate. 'Sure. What would you like?'

'Meat,' I answered quickly. He raised his eyebrows in question, but I remained completely serious. 'A steak. Perfectly seasoned. With french fries. And lots of dip. To drink...hmm...sprite. Please. Oh, also, something sweet. Doughnuts? Eh, doesn't matter. Whatever you find. Think you can manage that?'

Ash went quiet as he processed all my requests. A little overwhelmed, he nodded and left.

I settled more deeply into the couch, stretching out my legs before me.

My natural instinct was to reach out to Casimir's mind, to check on his mood, but this time I firmly kept him out. It wasn't possible to shut him off completely, he was always present, like a hum in the background, but I could shield myself against the darkness. At least for a while.

I tried to relax, but Rose's call prevented me from doing so completely. At least it was a sign of improvement that I didn't run at their beck and call. But truth be told, there was nothing I could do to improve the Court's situation. This was Lissa's and Casimir's area of expertise.

So when Ash returned forty or so minutes later, I tuned into him entirely and ignored everything else.

He dragged the table closer to the couch and placed a steaming aluminium package on top of it, along with my drink and a paper bag that filled the room with the delicious scent of freshly baked sugary dough.

He introduced each dish with the air and flourish of a professional chef, and fell into the chair beside me.

'There you go, miss. Hope that'll keep you full for a couple hours at least. Bon appetit.'

I couldn't help sounding sheepish. 'Thanks.'

He moved his chair closer to me. 'So - let me guess. Once you've eaten and rested for like, five minutes, you're gonna run over to Rose and help out with war preparations?'

'No.' I sliced another bite off the steak and savoured the deeply flavoured taste in my mouth.

'No?'

'No.'

Ash's face was the picture of confusion. 'Why? I mean,' he hurried on, 'not that I'm happy that you're putting yourself first for once. But...why? What changed?'

I shrugged. 'I meant it - I'm tired. Mentally fatigued; you name it. I was nearly choked to death by a colossal Strigoi, I jumped out of a helicopter, I fought a bear, I fought wolves...even I have my limits. I'm not invincible.'

Ash was studying me intently. 'You know what's weird? I always did think of you that way - that you were invincible. And then when I found you half-dead, that image of you that I had...it just crumbled before my eyes.'