Shadow Rider (Vampire Academy Fanfic)

Chapter 33 - Thanatia

When the movie was finished, the couples were feeling particularly smoochy. The Queen and the Ozera boy murmured conspicuously, Rose stood curled against Dimitri's tall frame, gazing at him intently, Tanner was holding Sonya Karp close to him, and Jenny was flirting shyly with Casimir, who reciprocated, less shyly. Ambrose and Mia, although not together, were talking animatedly, and I could tell right away it was just a matter of time for them.

That left Ash and me standing awkwardly next to each other.

Ash, naturally, launched into a conversation about the movie, which led to more talks of other movies. He explaining jokingly how he and his friends had managed to see movie premieres they were too young for as kids, thanks to looking slightly older than they were, which was thanks to their, in his words, "impressive physique."

'How old are you, anyway?' I asked him, as we were heading back to the hotel.

'I'm twenty-one.'

I started.

'Yeah,' he continued, 'look, I know you're twenty-three, but-'

'You're younger than me?' I interrupted, aghast.

He snorted. 'Big deal! Two years difference is nothing.'

'It is to me!' I insisted. 'It's inappropriate, it's wrong-'

If anything, this confirmed it. I had to stay away from Ash.

'But I suppose it's okay for Casimir to date Jenny?' he retaliated, sensing me pulling away. 'She's nineteen.'

'What he does is none of my business,' I said sharply.

'Yeah? So the guy you like is with someone else, and you don't care?'

'I don't like him like that,' I spat.

Ash rolled his eyes. 'You don't fool anyone, least of all me.'

I opened my mouth to protest, but he spoke over me. 'There's no point arguing about it. I know you'll refuse to listen.'

'I love Casimir,' I said, in a calm voice, 'but not like that.'

'Then show me,' Ash said, his eyes and stance urgent. 'Show me you don't care.'

I stared at him in confusion. 'How?'

'Kiss me.'

I started to shut down. 'No.'

'Then I'll do it,' he said harshly, and before I could pull away, his lips were upon mine.

This was the second time Ash had kissed me without my explicit permission, and I thought I might strangle him. I started to push him away, when I noticed a small detail. He wasn't kissing me with the urgency and force I'd expected, like he'd done the first time. No, his kiss this time was gentle and sweet, and it had the peculiar effect of calming me down. Confusion replaced anger, and the sensations rippling through me numbed my mind. Elated at the change, at the peace that had settled over my otherwise churning thoughts, I felt the strange feeling of curiosity, a need to explore this new state of mind.

Without further ado, I found myself - impossibly, I insisted - deepening our kiss. Ash immediately sensed the change, and smiled against my lips. They lingered tenderly for a moment, before he kissed me back with renewed passion.

I was so in the moment, so in the now, that I forgot all my worries. I didn't care that Ash might be using me for his own physical gratification, I didn't care that I might be making a mistake, I didn't care about the consequences. I had not a care in the world, and for the first time in so long, I felt truly free - felt fully and completely and unquestionably alive.