The Wolf of the Wilds

The Open Door

Eating dinner with the Montis wolves felt alien after her encounter with Neron and the Angor. Her skin felt tainted by their presence; she was dirty, tarnished. She wanted nothing more than to have a long shower and scrub her skin raw. It only seemed to further make her realise how different she was from the other wolves she sat with. As they dug into their food, she picked at it, occasionally stabbing it as if the steak had insulted her somehow.

The wolves around her were normal. They had grown up in normal homes, their parents had had normal jobs. How could they ever understand the type of person she was? The monster she'd been raised to be.

"Helena, you alright?" Ed spoke, still chewing on a bite of food as he addressed her.

Her head snapped up and for once she couldn't find a witty retort to reply with, no acid words on her tongue.

"I'm just a little out of it. It's been an odd day," she murmured, pushing a stray strand of hair out of the way of her face.

The alpha watched her still, expectantly waiting for her to say more. When she remained silent, he released a huff of air and leant across the table, pointing his fork at her.

"No insults? No sarcasm?" He said, raising an eyebrow. "Clearly something is bothering you today. You've been far too pleasant."

Helena snorted, shaking her head at bitterly staring at the wall.

"You're an arse Ed. If you must know, I met some people today that I haven't seen in years. It was...disconcerting." Her voice trailed off as her face fell again.

"Old friends?"

"Not really. Old tormentors is probably closer to it."

Ed's face was scrunched up as if he was trying to solve a difficult puzzle.

"Tormentors? You don't strike me as the type to be picked on."

"We were all children once," she pointed out, carefully piling peas onto her cutlery and bringing it to her mouth.

Ed's face had gone slack with understanding.

"Ah. I can imagine that being pretty off putting," he mumbled. When he didn't say anything more, it was Helena's turn to speak up.

"How have you been finding the summit so far?" She asked.

"Tiring and busy. I can't believe its only half way through. Hermie has been having morning sickness and experiencing a lot of fatigue. It's just stressful trying to get the negotiation done on top of being pleasant and being on time all the time."

Helena bobbed her head up and down.

"I'm sure you're doing a better job of it than your parents would've done."

Edgard watched his plate with a slight frown.

"Yeah, I suppose I am. It's difficult imagining the people that raised me as the people that they are now. They used to be less, er, controlling, but I suppose people change. Just sometimes not for the better. I'm just thankful Hermine is here with me. I can't begin to imagine what an awful time she's having here, but I'd have gone mad by now if it weren't for her."

Helena nodded.

"Yes. There is some wisdom in the logic of having two alphas. Far too much pressure for a single person to carry on their shoulders."

"By the way, was that a compliment you just gave me?" He asked, grinning at her.

"Don't get used to it. I'm emotionally compromised currently." Despite her nose being pointed into the air and her crossed arms, there was a slight curl to her lips.

After dinner, once the sky had grown dark and the streets became busy with fanged commuters, Helena spent some time outside Adrian's bedroom.

"Today was an odd day. I saw some people that I believed were dead. It was rather distressing," she murmured softly. Her eyes were lowered, and her lips were parted as she watched a spider scuttle across the corridor. "I don't enjoy being reminded of what, and who, I truly am. Sometimes I forget. I live in the moment, but things like this remind me of how I don't deserve the life I live."

She doubted that Adrian could hear what she was saying, but it felt good to confess her thoughts to the world.

It was then that she heard something brush against the door and a muffled thud.

"You deserve happiness." The words were rendered blurry from the wood between them, but his voice was unmistakable.

Helena pulled her knees closer to her chest.

"You're horribly biased Adrian," she replied.

She almost fell back as the door creaked open. She looked up, clinging to the door frame to remain upright. Adrian was looking at her, brow slightly raised despite his haggard appearance.

"I may be biased, but so are you," he retorted. He seemed to consider her for a moment before a look of determination crossed his face. "Shall we go for a walk?"

Helena scrambled to her feet, brushing dust from her arse.

"Yes. I'll go and grab my cloak quickly. Left it drying in my room."

As she jogged towards her shared room she berated herself for sounding too eager, but the thrill that was running down her back was easily discerned.

Adrian met her at the top of the rickety staircase, his cloak also draped from his shoulders. Upon seeing her, he sent her an awkward half grimace, half smile.

"I apologise for my less than pleasant appearance tonight," he said, scratching the side of his nose. Helena placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Adrian. You have seen me covered head to toe in a mixture of blood and dirt. There are many worse things that a bit of stubble and a two-day old tunic."

Stepping outside was unpleasant, but the Imber rain had quietened to little more than a slight dripping. Of course, the air still carried a bite of cold, but it was pleasant in comparison to the storm they had endured earlier that day.

"Where should we go?" Helena asked.

"The harbour perhaps? It's not a nice night, but I haven't explored it yet."

"As long as neither of us fall in, then that's fine."

They began walking towards the gentle scent of sea salt and fishing boats. Several minutes of silence followed, but when they stepped out of the cover of buildings, they found themselves staring out at a bay of inky black water. Helena searched around and led Adrian down a jetty that stretched out into the darkness. Looming ships creaked as they passed, gentle waves pushing at their hulls. Only the soft light of the occasional lantern lit their path, but when they reached the end, they stopped to stare.

"It's rather sinister looking isn't it?" Helena said, plopping down to sit on a crate.

Adrian joined her.

"I can't really see it, but yes, funnily enough a bottomless pool of cold, dark water is somewhat disturbing to me."

There was a hush as both were motionless, listening to the lapping water and the whistling of the ocean breeze.

"I think we need to talk to one another," Adrian murmured.

"I agree. The world seems set on destroying us both, but I'd enjoy company on this onwards march towards death."

Adrian pressed his hand to his mouth as he stifled a laugh.

"Yes, to put it bluntly."