Buried Words

Stepping out of shell

***
Too dark, too silent
I believed that  fear and loneliness inside my shell was permanent

Not until I decided to lift my head
And saw someone like her that awakens my dread
***
I look at that someone and felt a stinging pain
Because of exploding fears that flows in my veins

The spreading tension was intense and unbearable
But I managed to ignore that and walk towards her in the hall
***
Her eyes are searching for something I didn't know
But the truth is there's something that she really wants to show.

Her eyes are glancing in every movement of everyone
And that's when I realized that she's like me who's also searching for fun.
***
She glance at me that fuelled the fear
She avoided my gaze that loudens the whisper of terror in my ear

I felt devastated when she finally look away
I lose the hope that someone will accept me someday
***
I want to walk away because of the flames of rejection
I can't afford to burn myself for an unacceptable reason

So I really want to walk away and pretend that I'm fine
But I can't move my body when her eyes settled again on mine.
***
She look at me and give me a smile
And her smile turns me back to the time when I was just a juvenile

And even I knew her smile was true,I knew there's a hidden loneliness
I realized that she's trying to show in her eyes that she's drowning in stress.
***
I want to approach her but I couldn't get out of my shell
I was too afraid to make a move that may lessen my level

I want to tell her that everything will be fine
But I can't afford to tell her a lie just to make her shine
***
So I have no choice but to pretend I didn't see anything in her eyes
But that's a mistake because she never pretend that she didn't see my lies

My strength,my smile, my cold stare was all just a lie to hide something
Something that can destroy those person that I can give my everything
***
But she saw all of my lies lingering to my body
And despite that, she fearlessly took a step forward towards me.

I felt so horrible because I didn't do anything like that for her
I felt so ashamed because I was too afraid to take off my cover.
***
I want to avoid her eyes and stares  but I couldn't
Because deep in her eyes I can see the true meaning of acknowledgement

And in her eyes, I'm not just a little girl who used to play hide and seek
She makes me realized that I was already out of my shell and have the courage to speak.
***
And she makes me say , "You did your part"
"Let me return what you did for me back from the start"

***
Hanggang dito muna.