Married To A Tyrant [PREVIEW]

Before The Wedding - Part 8

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SALMA

The call of the adhan woke me up from my slumber. His shrill voice pierced through the cold and damp morning air, making me sit upright instantly. I rubbed my eyes to clear my vision, and reached for my phone.

5:30am

I rolled off the bed and ran my fingers through my hair. I was too lazy to switch on the light, so I shuffled my feet towards the bathroom. Pushing the door open, I switched on the light and stared at my reflection in the mirror. The image staring back through the mirror looked nothing like me. My eyes were red and puffy, and my hair was an awful mess. There were tear stains running down my face, and my nose was stuffy from crying myself to sleep the night before. And the night before that. And the night before that.

I turned on the tap and splashed some water on my face, staring at my reflection once again. I only managed to make the situation worse. Now I looked like a drowning mouse. My hair looked even worse, and my eyes looked more red than before.

I brushed my teeth and performed wudu (ablution). Stepping out of the bathroom, I pulled on my hijab and laid my prayer mat in the direction of the Qibla (the direction of the Ka'aba, which Muslims face when praying).

I performed two nafil (voluntary) rakahs (units of prayer) before performing the Subhi prayer. On the last sujood (prostration), I poured out my heart to my creator, telling him all my problems.

"Ya Allahu, Al Gaffuru Al Raheem, Ya malikul maut, you know the situation I'm in better than anyone ever will. You never place a test on a person if You know he or she can not bear it. I choose to view everything that's happening to me right now as a test from You, for no one's faith is truly complete until he or she has passed any tests set by You.

Ever since I was young, I've been praying for a partner who will be a good role model to others. I have always prayed for a husband who is pious, intelligent, religious, understanding and respectful. Someone who would cherish me, and who will make me happy everyday for the rest of my life. Someone who will uplift the Muslim Ummah, and who shall abide by every decree set by the Almighty Allah and the prophet Muhammad (S.A.W).

Ya Allah, Mansur possesses neither of these qualities. He is not a responsible man, neither is he religious. I know that I have no right to judge any of your creatures, and even I do not claim to be a saint.

Ya zul jalali wal ikram, you commanded us to obey our parents. You instructed us through your humble Prophet Muhammad (S.A.W) to obey our mothers. He instructed us to obey our mothers, three times before he instructed us to obey our fathers. A mother is a symbol of respect and reverence to all her children. I'd never even think of disobeying my mother, which is why I decided to obey her command without arguing. Even though it's against my wish, I will not argue with her.

Ya Allah, I place my predicament before You. You alone know what's best for me. If Mansur is the right person for me, then I pray You bless this union which Mama has proposed. But if it's not my destiny, then I pray Ya Allah that You'll distance me from Mansur. I pray You'll keep me as far away from him as possible. Ya Allah, I ask you that my future partner be an example for the entire Muslim Ummah and the non Muslim Ummah alike. May he be a role model to myself and my future kids. May he bring a smile upon my face everytime I look at him, and I pray that I'll be proud and happy to call him my husband forevermore.