bleed me | jin ✔

S I X

My love,

You said I should move on. I can't.

You said I should be happy. I can't.

You said I should not think about you. I can't.

I want to, but I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't.

J.

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"Will you be okay, Jin Hyung?" Jungkook asked in a unsure tone, for what seemed like the millionth time. 

Jin was sitting besides him at the table of the restaurant they had went to after the club. After seeing June, Jin had walked back slowly to his friends, eyes wide with shock and doubts. They had kept silent, unsure of what to tell their friend. 

Because what do you tell a man who had just seen the love of his life for the first time in three years? 

Jin had noticed their eyes on him as he walked back to them, and managed a weak smile. After a few minutes of silence that went unnoticed to Jin, who was still consumed by his thoughts, Namjoon had stated he was hungry. 

All the boys had echoed his sentiment, and they decided it was better if they went to eat something. None of them felt like partying anymore. 

And now here they were, sitting in the small barbecue restaurant, the three younger boys staring at their Hyung, who was still not saying a word, barely nodding every time Jungkook asked if he was okay.

Was he okay? 

He didn't know.

He didn't know what to think, what to feel. She had consumed his thoughts for the last three years now, she was all he could think about. He remembered her, and their happy times together, and it hurt more than he cared to admit. 

And now he had seen her, and it wasn't what he had hoped. 

When he left, he used to hope he would forget her, he used to hope it would be easy. Then, when he realized it wouldn't happen, he had hoped she would be there when he got out, he had hoped everything would be back to normal. And then, when that didn't happen, he had wished to forget her, again. It would be hard, but he needed to forget her. But it didn't happen, and then he had hoped he would see her again. And then, it happened. 

And he had no idea what to do. 

-"I think I will go home." Jin said, his eyes on the table. His voice was weak, like he was trying to hold back all of his emotions. "I'm sorry." He apologized even if he knew it wasn't necessary. His friends knew what had just happened, and they would never hold it against him. "Happy birthday, Jungkook." He finished, before standing up and leaving the restaurant, exiting onto the busy street of Gangnam. 

He stopped for a second on the sidewalk, closing his eyes and taking in a deep breath of fresh air. He exhaled as he opened his eyes, staring up at the dark sky. 

Here, in the middle of Gangnam, with all the lights around, he couldn't see the stars. But he knew they were there, and he knew they were shinning bright. 

He put his hands in his pocket, feeling the small piece of paper in it. It was scratching against his fingers, slightly hurting him, and it was the best feeling in the world. It was a scratch he would gladly feel again and again and again, just because it was linked to her. 

He took in another deep breath and started walking towards his apartment, his fingers still clutching the small pink post-it. Pink, her favorite color. 

She used to buy him pink shirts all the time, and he didn't even like the colour. But he wore them, because it made her happy. She said it went well with his dyed, blond hair.

All of those shirts were at his parents' house now, back in Daegu. He had left them there when he had left, three years ago. And his hair, it was now back to black.

His walk home was short, since he didn't live too far from the restaurant. Reaching his building, he entered the hallway and took in the steps two-by-two, until he reached the fourth floor. He unlocked his door and stumbled right into the kitchen. 

Taking the small paper from his pocket, he stared at it again, even if it was useless. He didn't need to stare at it anymore, by now he knew the number by heart. 

He slowly put it on his dining table, right below the frame above the table. 

His eyes raised and lingered over the picture, over the grey sky that took most of the frame, over the dark sea in the background, and finally, over the mesmerizing dark eyes and bright smile that lit up the picture and kept him up at night. 

They hadn't changed, at all.

He let out the deep breath he had been holding.

He would call her, tomorrow. They would see each other, they would talk, and everything would go back to the way it was before.

And then, he would be happy, for the first time in three years.