Misunderstandings

Letting it All Out

Yan Yan

The clock ticked slowly, allowing Yan Yan to know that it was 12pm. Xiaomi was trying his best to keep himself up. It had been a very hard chemo session for him. It was one of the very lasts and for that Yan Yan was silently thankful. They weren't still in the clear and maybe his heart was yet to be at ease. Even so, Yan Yan continued to remind himself that this was simply another stepping stone.

"Yan." Xiaomi spoke reaching to take his hand.

Yan Yan offered a wry smile and simply let Xiaomi take hold of his hand.

"Sit with me." Xiaomi whispered softly. Most of the time Yan Yan knew Xiaomi liked to maintain distance. It was weird. In the past, Su Xiaomi had been so clingy to the point that Yan Yan had to tell him to stop. Now, he was cautious and even when they were in public it seemed they were friends more than lovers. Then there was that person.

There were times when Yan Yan could not be by Su Xiaomi's side as much as he'd like. On many occasions one of their friends would be by his side. Yan Yan was fine with it. He wanted someone to be with Su Xiaomi at all times when he could not be. However, that was different when it came to that person.

Yan Yan happened to be there when that person was looking after Su Xiaomi. While Yan Yan had silently observed he watched that person take care of Su Xiaomi. Most of the time that person would hold Su Xiaomi's hand. He would coddle and worry over Su Xiaomi more that Lu Yiyi who acted like a mother hen around Su Xiaomi. Even Lu Yiyi's parents did not seem to fuss over Su Xiaomi the way that person did. This more than anything got under Yan Yan's skin. Xiaomi did not once reach for his hand during these sessions when it was the two of them. With that person. Not only was there hand holding but that person also spoon fed him. Yan Yan finally had enough when Su Xiaomi's wheelchair was set aside and that person carried him

Xiaomi was laughing by the time Yan Yan had deposited him in his own arms and carried him back to the room himself.

"Yan Yan loves Su Xiaomi so much." He'd said. That person had bee smart not to follow. Even so, while Xiaomi allowed Yan Yan to hold his hand and was especially whiny whenever they were in his room, something Yan Yan didn't mind but liked, this did not apply outside. This was something that was deeply bothering Yan Yan. He wondered if this was what things were going to be like now.

"Yan." Xiaomi called to him interrupting his train of thought.

"Sit here." He spoke quietly trying to move over and have him lay beside him on the bed.

"I'm not sure that's a good idea."
"Please." Xiaomi begged weakly.

Sighing Yan Yan simply went to sit beside him on the bed throwing an arm around him gently. It was then that Xiaomi proceeded to rest his head on Yan Yan's chest. The knock on the door alerted them of company and Xiaomi simply smiled when Dr. Zhang Li walked in.

"Are you ready for today's session."
"I think Xiaomi feels a bit too tired for that today." Yan Yan spoke coldly.

Xiaomi didn't really say much instead smiled.

"That's alright. We can schedule this for another time."
"The transplant is scheduled for next week. Xiaomi needs more rest then." Yan Yan spoke. Dr. Zhang Li simply smiled.

"Did Xiaomi not tell you. This session was for both of you?"
"He did mention it."
"Then are you refusing?"
The question angered Yan Yan but before he could answer Xiaomi was already holding his free hand and gave it a squeeze trying to silently calm him.

"He's not." Xiaomi spoke while Yan Yan looked down at him.

"I can do it." He spoke pushing himself away from Yan Yan.