DON'T LET ME GO

chapter 10

Last night was a disaster, a disaster that is only overthrown by this morning headlines to which i was oblivious until Edward in his old habit whenever the disaster is immenet stormed into my bedroom at around 11.am, he shoved those magazines right up my face, aparently as i was partying someone made a video of me making out with some guy who's name i dont even remember and now all tabloids are again feeding on my bad girl reputation.

HOLLYWOOD'S BAD GIRL IS BACK

WHO'S JENNIFER'S MYSTERY MAN

NEW LOVE IN THE HORIZON

ONLY FEW MONTHS AFTER KISSING ACTRESS CARMEN DEL ROSSO JEL THROWS HER TONGUE DOWN A MAN'S THROAT

-Edward, i dont remember this

-you have to get your act together this is too much of PDA for one night Jenny!

As usuall whenever some scandal hit me my friends freak out as much as i do, first raging at the tabloids and then raging at me for not telling them if what's reported is true, though in the middle of the cayas all i could think about was Carmen, did she read this?

*hi
*are you there?

Few hours already and i had no reply from her even though she red my texts as soon as i sent them, maybe she's busy.
I waited until i couldnt anymore and so i texted her again.

*hellooooooo
*earth to Carmen
*are you there?
*i know you're there, you're reading my texts 😤

The drill on those times is for me to vanish few days or more, so as i was house confined that night i couldnt sleep. I was in bed tossing and turning hopelessly. Sleep is not planing to visit me tonight and Carmen is still MIA.
knowing she was performing there was no point of texting but i did it anyway.

* i know you're on stage but i need to talk
*i cant sleep
*i cant stop thinking about you 😥

I was blazing into the ceiling counting my blessings as my father says whenever i go through something, "count your blessings girl, everything will seem worthless then"
I was on blessing number twenty maybe when the phone illuminated. I checked and it was a text from Carmen, finally.

*hi

LAKE.J
*are you ignoring me? 😔

CARMEN🤗
*why would i?

LAKE.J
*today's "news"!!!

CARMEN🤗
* what's today's news?

LAKE.J
*CARMEEEEENNN
...
*are you mad?
*for all that is worth i was drunk
*i mean i dont even remember the guy
....

She didnt reply, as her habit, she just reads and moves on though she knows i cant handle being ignored.

LAKE.J
*still up?
*i missed talking to you today!
*why are you even ignoring me?
*i dont have to explain myself btw

That was the last text i sent her, she didnt text me for days after and ofcourse i wasnt going to put myself more down for her, why would i after all why would she even be mad if she is?

I guess if it was just the news i can turn the page and go on about my life but an actual foutage of me making out in the middle of the dance floor made it impossible to deny the facts. Damn those tabloids.

Two weeks since the scandal, Carmen was back in the US from what i heard but she didnt talk to me. I dont know what i was thinking but after few drinks it didnt seem like such a bad idea to just show up at her house...i am starting to think i have a drinking problem at this point.

I pull at her gate, her security talk to me for a moment and then goes to the phone when he came back he told me Carmen was recording at some studio off town so the tipssy me decided to drive there. I had to make few extra turns and rounds to lose my tail of hungry paparazzi and by the time i got to the studio it was almost dark.
When i went inside Carmen was in the booth, i could see from her expression she was either surprised or not very thrilled that i showed up.

When she joined everyone at the controls room she didnt even kiss me hello, she just picked her pack of cigarettes and asked me if i wanted to join her outside for a smoke.
Like a kid following his mother prior to being punished i followed her outside i tried to hold her hand as i walked behind her but her cold touch wasnt very welcoming so i let go of her.

There was a small beautiful garden in the backyard with a swing at the corner, Carmen took a seat in there and i just sat on the table in front Of her.

-very warm welcome after all this time! not very happy to see me?

-what you mean? Ofcourse i am. Am just focused on recording

-for two weeks?

She just lit her cigarette and looked at me quitly so i went on saying.

-i dont even understand what's going on, all of this for a stupid tabloid story?

-it's not a stupid story and you know it. I guess it's just you're thing.

-what do you mean?

-i mean it's non of my business

-isn't it though? Why are you mad?

Just to strengthen my point she looked away from me and said.

-i am not.

-why you're not talking to me then?

-am BUSY, BUSY...

-DONT FUCKING SHOUT AT ME

-what do you want from me Jenny? i dont have time for this.

She stood up as she said that so i grabbed her hand and pulled her back down. With my hand still holding hers i just said i was sorry. She finally looked at me and replied

-for what?

-for whatever you are mad at me for, am sorry.

She was quite just looking at me as if coming up with different ways to kill me so i kept saying.

-i dont know what happened that night, i wont even blame it on the alcohol i was stupid am sorry, please. am sorryyyy. i miss you dont be mean.

As she leaned forward to put down her cigarette i grabbed her face and forced her to face me, her silent anger and the hypnotizing grey eyes were irresistably calling for me that i just got closer to her that our lips could touch and as i said sorry one last time i softly rested my lips on top of hers and kissed her closing my eyes so the tears wont betray me.

When i pulled away from her she stood up draging me with her and huged me. I hid my head in her neck breathing her in as deep as i could and the more i did the stronger she huged me with her arms moving around my back conforting me.

She held my hand and we walked back in silently. For the rest of the night she kept recording and i kept looking at her mesmerized by her presence waiting for her grey eyes to meet mine.