Nothingness

not enough

I take a look at myself in the mirror.
There's not enough.
Not enough cuts for all the PAIN
I've been put through.
That's only the beginning of what I feel.

so why stop now?

I can feel tears tracing down my cheeks as I stare at the razor in my hands.

I drop the razor in the sink and fall to the floor.

I cry with my hands in my face, and my back to the door.

I try.
I do.

I try to get better, but when I do feel better, it's so easy for something to drag me back down.

It's like, I'm finnally out of this hole I've been stuck in for years, But then at the last moment some small animal pushes me back into the hole as soon as I'm free.

It sucks so much and I can't escape it.

I'm always pushed back into that hole.

I open my eyes and wipe away the tears.
I stand up, open the door and lay down on my bed. I just want a break.
A nap.
A getaway.

I fall asleep.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Hey Y/n? Wake up darling!" I hear a familiar voice.

"hm..?" I groan rubbing my eyes.

"Get yourself up, today Laurence has school. If you'd like to come we have your uniform on your dresser!" Cadenza tells me.

I open my eyes and sit up.
"Ok, cool."

I get up and put on the uniform.
good thing my thighs are clean.
I grab a cute light blue sweater that matches the uniform and put it on.
I go to the bathroom and brush my hair, my teeth, do a little makeup, and other hygiene things.

When I'm ready, I hope down the stairs and head into the kitchen.
As I reach for a apple on the counter, Laurence comes and takes the apple that I wanted!

"Hey! I wanted that one!" I tell him.

He laughs and replies,"Well so did I!"

I give him stink eyes and then when he least expected it- right before he took a bite, I grabbed the apple from his hand and quickly took a bite.

"Hey! You little-" He runs after me as I run out of the room.

I'm laughing and running when I slip and fall in the ground.
I don't care though.
I'm used to pain at this point..
I kinda.. I kinda like it...

I can feel a little blood but I just get up, and pick up the apple a little upset.

"Are you ok!? I heard you fall and hit your head! Omg your bleeding! Cone on let me help you-" Laurence rambles as he runs into the room.

"I'm fine. But I dropped my apple. It was a yummy apple too. Gosh darn it!" I say, more to myself than to him but I didn't try to make him not here though.

He just laughs confused why I'm not freaking.
He helps me clean and bandage where I got hurt.
Afterwords before we head put the door, I grabbed a new apple.

"Come on! What are you doing Princess Laurence! Your so sloowwww!!" I yell towards the kitchen.

"One sec!" He yells back.
I laugh and he walks in the room with-

"Ew!! Is that my apple! I ate that, and it was on the floor!" I tell him grossed out.

"Eh, an apples a apple!" He exclaims and we head out the door.

weirdo..

Heyo potatoes! Or buggles.. lolol so I now have a Tumblr but it's called Kaybug so ye. And I call the people on their buggles. So ye..
Anyways shout out to LollypopLib For the cover!

Also a shout out to BacktoBackgirls,
and Naome_hashigana for participating in the cover contest!!