Nothingness

I'll just do it myself then. (By Fall Out Boy... JK😂)

WARNING WARNING WARNING WARNING

THIS IS AN INTENSE CHAPTER!

IT MENTIONS THINGS LIKE ABUSE, SUICIDE, FOUL LANGUAGE, AND ASSULT

IF YOU ARE TRIGGERED BY ANY OF THESE EVENTS, PLEASE WAIT FOR THE CHAPTER AFTER THIS ONE, WHICH WILL BE A FRIENDLIER VERSION

THANK YOU! ENJOY

Why not?

Why not?

Why not?

Why not?

why..??

I don't understand. After all this time and after everything I've been through. Falling and climbing and falling and climbing.

Why is it now he won't just kill me?
What's the point in letting me suffer!?

I'll just do it myself then.

Nobody will care.
Nobody will cry.
Nobody will have sorrow.
Nobody.
They will only ever see the pitiful body of a girl with a sad life.
The one who selfishly took her own life.
The stupid girl who overreacted.

I stand up and walk into the kitchen.
I can hear the pathetic cries of the people I once called family.
They all cry.
And i stand there.
With nothing in my head..

But death.

I pick up the large knife that is in the kitchen. I stare into the reflective silver and into the reflection of my eyes.
They are cold.
Dead.
Sad.
Guilty.
Betrayed.
And Blank.

It makes my blood boil to see the pathetic expression upon my face.

My dirtied face stares back at me with no expression and I scowl at the waste of potential I had.
I could have been one of those fake ass depression commercials where it shows that 'it gets better' and shows how your future would be.
I could have been happy.
I could have been normal.

I could have not been such a god DAMNED FAILURE!

I let my mom down.
My brother.
My father.
I let everyone down.
Well,
I'm about too.
o

ops..

I glare at the person I see in the reflective silver and I slam the knife into the counter.

I grab another knife and throw it across the room.

I keep grabbing knives and throwing them.
When they all are gone I look over to see Divana, Kyle, and Father staring at me.

I grab the knife from the counter and smile.

"I loved you." I whisper as I raise the knife.

Do it...

Do it....

Do it!!!

DO IT!

COME ON!

DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT!

I love you...

Take your final breath...

"I love you. " I breath out as I drive the knife into my stomach.

My vision goes black...

I can hear yelling.
Screaming.
crying...

Black..

"Y/N!!!"

Black..

"hh.." I breath my last breath.

"CHAIN HIM UP! CHAIN HIM UP!"

"GRAB THE BOY! YOU! PUT HER IN THE AMBULANCE!

Black

BLACK

BLACK.

nothingness.