Nothingness

The new me

What?
I said, if you have to ask yourself if your happy, then, are you?
I.. I don't know..
well.. if your not happy-
just stop it. I never asked for this you know!
I know, but I'm just here to help. In the end, I still would have helped you either way. However this ends.
well.. yeah.. I guess so.
B̶͙̚ư̶̯t̸͖͝ ̴͓͆i̴̦̚t̵̟͑'̶̨̏s̶͇̽ ̸̝͠s̷̝̈́ť̶̻ĩ̸͈l̵̺̕l̵̮̊ ̶̲̓e̴͚̒a̷̜͐s̴͍̅ȋ̴̳ë̸̞r̵̲͘ ̸̭͒t̷̩̒o̴̧̅ ̴̛̮j̴̳̎ũ̴̠s̴̠̓t̸͔͂ ̷̹͠c̷̟̓u̵̖̓t̶͓͝ ̸̖͋ȉ̸͜ẗ̴͉ ̷̥̀s̶̬̈́h̵̝̏o̶̮͑r̵̜̽t̵͊ͅ ̸͇͠y̴̬͌a̴̞͠ ̵͚̾k̵͋͜n̶̳̈o̶̰̚ẇ̷̮?̵̩̀
I mean, whatever goes goes though I guess.

hmph.

I sit there all alone.
Thoughts racing through my mind.
What's next?
what's the next step in my life.
To just leave this all behind?
Sever the ties between me and my past?
heh..
sure sounds easy.
Maybe, if I pretend enough,
it can become true.
If I can pretend to let this go.
Pretend my past never happened.
Maybe I will actually become normal.

I smile to myself.
Again, sounds easy.
Might as well give it a try though.

I stand up and walk back to the cafeteria trying my best not to shake or turn red.
Trying my best to change.
To pretend.

I'm not good at pretending.
Father made sure to ingrain that into my mind.
Father told me how much of LIAR and a AWFUL child I was.

But I can still try to pretend.
But, the longer you do something, the better you get after all huh..

"Hey guys! What's up?" I say casually, as I sit back down at the table.

Laurence isn't there.
He must be looking for me.

"Y/n!? Where did you go? Are you ok??" They all ask worridly.

I chuckle.
"Yeah! I'm totally fine!"

They all smile and Danté goes to look for Laurence.

Seems I don't have to try to hard to trick these people.
They aren't as smart as most are they?
Maybe it's because they all are so happy that they are blind to unhappiness.

A few minutes later they come back.
The bell rings and everyone runs off to their classes.

But Laurence holds me back.
ughh..

"Y/n! Are you ok..? I'm sorry.. did we overwhelm You? Crap.. I'm probably making it worse.." He questions, mumbling that last part to himself.

I smile once again, and reply with, " I'm perfectly fine."

I run off to go to my next class.
Leaving behind a clueless, and confused Laurence.

~~~×~~~×~~~×~~~×~~~

As I walk down the hallway I feel like someone is following, or watching, me.

I turn around but I don't see anybody.
I frown but keep walking.
Once again I have that feeling.

I turn around again but no one is there.
But as I go to turn back to the original direction I was going someone is there.