A Second Chance // Thorki

Chapter fifteen

Loki, to say the least, was a bit disappointed. His lips were bruised from the rough kiss, his cheeks sensitive from the abrasiveness of Thor's beard- and he was half-hard. The fucking King of Asgard had just forced a kiss and then promised to fuck him, and Loki wasn't sure how he felt about that, but he knew that at the moment, he was somewhat disappointed.

Sitting up against the headboard, Loki stayed there for a time, trying to process things, trying to understand what he was feeling, what to do next.

Five minutes.  Twenty. Forty-five.

When he shifted from the bed, his movements were slow and shaky, and he allowed his facade to drop, his glamour, everything. Blue skin left frost everywhere it touched as he absentmindedly ghosted his fingers over some of the designs in the walls.

Thor wanted to fuck him. Thor wanted to hold him down and feel every part of him that he'd never even let another person see before. Loki had barely ever let a man or woman touch him anywhere that could be deemed even slightly sexual, and For most of his life, he'd thought he was asexual or demisexual or something of the sorts.

But now... now, he wanted to be touched. Now, he wanted the King's large hands to hold him, those soft lips to leave marks over his chest and body, tongue teasing and his cock... oh, his cock...

Loki growled at his own mind and out of newfound and sudden anger, grabbed a vase and flung it to the wall, watching it shatter and splatter strange green liquid about. "No," he said to himself, aloud, red eyes blazing with newfound frustration, "Thor will not invoke such feelings in me."

Loki had always hated having emotions. Feeling lonely, stressed, anxious, depressed- all his life, happiness was a rare find. Emotions got in the way, and it was even worse when other people were able to make him feel things. Thor made him feel things he'd never felt before, and he hated it. Thor had control over him that no one in the past ever had.

Because Thor could make him hard, Thor could make his heart pound in his chest, and his body respond in ways it never used to. Thor could make him smile with his stupid grin and his stupid ideas and his stupid puppy-dog like persona. Thor could make him angry, Thor could make him hate himself even more.

Thor held so much power that Loki was now afraid.

With a flick of his wrist, the vase was back together and filled with the strange green liquid, any sign of his rage-induced actions gone from the room.

That's why he was shaking. Loki was scared. Thor held so much more power over him than anyone had in the past before, an exception being his mother.

Loki's Jotun form was something he never showed anyone- he only ever returned completely to it when he felt he had to, or he was proving a point to Thor. Now was a time where he felt he needed to be in his rawest state. Now, there was no facade or glamour or anything. He was Loki, the rightful king of Jotunheim, a runt of a frostgiant, a prince of Asgard. With piercing red eyes and blue skin that was freezing to the touch, markings of a Jotun raised from it, narrow ridges of patterns across his body. With superhuman strength, durability, longevity, healing and physiology, along with immunity to the cold and extreme power when it came to ice and magic of the sort. Intersex, with a cock and a cunt and crippling self-hatred. He was Loki. The real, true Loki.

And he was afraid. Afraid of Thor, of commitment, scrutiny, judgement, and most of all- allowing any of those fears to hold him back.

He was still shaking, his hands trembling as he reached out and placed both of them against the window, looking out at the vast expanse of space before him.

Who was he kidding? He was Loki. Loki of Jotunheim, Loki of Asgard, Odinson, Laufeyson. He'd been through a lot of shit. He'd tried to take over Midgard, almost succeeded, tried to take over Asgard twice, succeeded for a short amount of time. Destroyed Asgard. Helped save Asgard. So what if Thor made him feel things? He'd survived a fall from the bifrost and almost a year of torture at the hands of Thanos, he could handle feeling emotions every now and then. So what if the people of Asgard still feared and hated him? They'd only ever heard one side of the story. So what if Loki was a frostgiant? So what if he was intersex?