A Second Chance // Thorki

Chapter twenty two

Thor's heart was pounding in his ears, and it was becoming difficult to breathe as he sprinted down the halls, people turning to gawk as his heavy footfalls echoed, arms pumping and strong legs working harder than they had in a long time.

Loki, find Loki.

Not in their shared room. Not in the bar. Not with Albin.

Thor had ran up and down the ship, searching everywhere for his brother, whom he'd insulted and threatened and done so wrong.

He'd been off in search of the dining hall when he'd found him. He'd entered the wrong room, finding himself not in the dining hall, no- in the room that brought back terrible memories, and a choking fear crawling up his throat. The room with the pool. 

"Loki?"

He was relieved when he laid eyes on the trickster, curled up with his arms on his knees, beside the pool. His inky black hair hid his face, but did not hide the way he trembled, the way his shoulders shook with every breath. He cried silent tears as Thor slowly approached, keeping his distance. "Loki..."

The trickster did not respond. He merely tucked his hair out of his face, revealing the way his red eyes glistened with tears and the way the drops followed the markings he wore, dripping down his chin.

"Loki, I-" he'd begun to step forward, but then the Jotun held up a hand, silencing the thunderer, and stopping him in his tracks.

"I don't need your apology, asgardian." His words were cold, yet held a certain rawness. "I know why you did it."

Thor gave a relieved sigh. "I'm glad you understand, but Listen, Loki, I-"

"What? Are you going to insult me again? Threaten me?" The Jotun hissed, turning to face him, his heartbreak morphing to sudden rage. "Belittle me like you always have? Treat me like a child? Threaten to kick me in my pathetic little cunt again?"

Thor began to walk forward again, "Loki, I-"

"Don't." He growled through clenched teeth, eyes glassy with tears. "Don't come any closer. I don't trust you anymore."

Thor stopped in his tracks once again, his outstretched hand falling back to his side.

"I'm sorry, Loki..."

"I don't want your damned apology... I don't want your love. I don't know if it's genuine anymore." Loki shivered and shuddered, doing his very best to keep his words steady and his crying quiet. "You and your... your stupid pride... that's what this is about... that's why you lashed out. You couldn't let yourself be taken down in front of others... because they don't think you're capable. They don't think you can keep me in line."

Thor was still, chest rising and falling slowly as he tried to catch his breath after running so much. Loki looked so small, so scared, curled up so tight by the side of the pool.

"You should've let me drown. Anyone else would've. Why didn't you?"

Thor's words were quiet, hesitant, as if anything he said could shatter the fragile trickster. "I love you."

Loki said nothing. He merely shook his head. He couldn't believe him anymore, not after the sheer anger he'd seen in Thor's eyes when he'd had him by the collar.

"I do, Loki, I love you..."

"Do you, now? Is that why you insulted me, threatened me, and held me up by the collar as you humiliated me in front of your friends?" Loki's voice quivered as he spoke at first, but the louder and angrier he got, the steadier his words became. "Is that why you called me weak, pathetic? Used my race as an insult against me? Threatened to banish me, chain me up and shoot me off the ship? Threatened to kick me in my pathetic little cunt?! Treated me with utmost cruelty?!"