✧alive✧ reddie

twelve

Mature themes and languages. Mentions of self harm.

Richie POV

I knew that this was the only way.

I needed to make Eddie jealous, so that he will try to win me back? Shit. He didn't even say he liked me.. what if I was doing this for nothing? Like, I told him I loved him but by his reaction I didn't know wether it was a good or bad thing.

Fucking hell.

"WHY DID YOU DO THAT????" Yelled Mike when he pushed me off by my chest.

I put my hand over over my mouth, eyes widening when I saw Eddie running away with his face in both of his hands.

"I-I.. I don't.."

"Was this your favor?? To hurt Eddie even more?? He's broken, Richie! Why can't you see that? There might have been a chance putting him back together, but now, I'm almost positive there isn't." He said angrily, storming off to find Eddie.

I collapsed to my knees and let tears stream down my face. I'm such a dick. I'm a fucking  asshole. I'm so selfish. I just want Eddie.. I sobbed for awhile until I forced myself up and towards my house, so that no one will find me there as weak as ever.

Little did I know an unfortunate surprise was waiting for me at home.

When I opened my front door, there she was, on a chair facing me.

"I thought I told you to never come back? And what do you do?" She spat, standing up from her spot.

"I'm getting my stuff.."

"Bullshit." She slapped my tear stained cheeks. Hard. I tried my best to hold in tears but a tear ended up dribbling past my freckles.

"I DONT WANT TO SEE YOU HERE EVER AGAIN. YOU GOT THAT, RICHARD?" She screeched past the scent of alcohol radiating out of her mouth.

I only nodded my head and turned out there door, her slapping me one more time before I do so. Now what? Hell if I have Eddie coming to look for me again. And I don't really know where anyone else lives so I'm screwed. I honestly deserve this. Being abused. Being left alone outside in the cold. Not really having anyone to consider friends, including the group I sit with at school.

I decided to head to the forest, considering the trees will be as much shelter I will possibly get. The dry leaves and twigs cracked underneath each step I took throughout my walk. I looked up towards the sky, which I could barely see due to the many leaves and branches. And noticed something in a tree.

"Thank fuck." I said aloud.

A tree house. Oh how grateful I am for this discovery. I climbed up the ladder leading me into a fairly small room, which could probably be mistaken for a crawl space.

I rested my muscles by laying down from all of the walking, then drifted off into a deep sleep.

Eddie POV

"Eddie!" I heard Mike call after me.

I ignored it, being the good friend I am. Note the sarcasm there. And continued walking away from the courtyard.

"Eddie, please." Mike said, grabbing my shoulder making me face him.

Before I could say anything, he pulled me into a hug full of sorrow, guilt, and forgiveness.

"W-why did he do that?" I asked, looking down.

"I honestly don't know. He didn't really give me an answer." He replied.

"Yeah, just like he didn't really tell you anything about why he pulled you from our table?" I scoffed and turned back around until, once again, being held back by Mike.

"Eddie. I'm so sorry. I really mean it. I know you like him and h-"

"Like him?? Hell if I like him! I could care less!" I argued.

"Then why are you so fed up about this. How he pulled me out and how he did what he did back there. If you really could care less, you would." Mike said.

I hesitated. I honestly didn't know how to respond, so I didn't. He didn't stop me though, which surprised me. I guess he knew I needed my time, in which he was right. I did need it. A lot quite frankly.

When I got home, I took my pills, then went up to the bathroom and locked the door. I placed both of my palms on the sink counter, then looked up into the mirror at my reflection.

Why me, Richie? Why?

Why did you have to help me with Mike and Beverly? Why did you take me to the quarry? Why did you beat of Bed for me then kiss me later on? Why did you ignore me? And.. And why did you have to say that you love me?

No one could love me. Not even my mother for fucks sake. Why did he tell me these things if he didn't mean it. Was it a dare? Was he being paid?

All these thoughts lead to the box of razors I had been hiding in my medicine cabinet.

I drew a blade from the box and angled it against my pale wrist. Not much later I dug the blade in deep enough to draw blood. He doesn't love you. I cut another line through my skin. Fuck, doesn't even like you at all. Another cut. That's why he kissed him. Another one. He thinks you're weak for running away like that.

Fuck. I had about a dozen cuts on my arms and decided that it was enough. I put the razor away, and cleaned up the blood that dripped down from my arms onto the counter.

I made my way to my bedroom, arms still remain of a stinging sensation, and laid down on my bed. I wonder if it would've been better to end it all.

Oh nuu my precious lil beans r depressed rip :(( honestly I feel bad for the both of them they each have their own perspectives and why they do things so that's that I guess. Also HAPPY BIRTHDAY MILLIE! <-- Just to lighten the mood :')
That's all I really have to say soo