I Wanna Be Your Man

Chapter 11

It was 9' o clock on a Saturday (Billy Joel reference intended). John listened from the top of the stairs. He heard George and Ringo playing checkers downstairs.

He then slowly nudged open Paul's door to see that he and Tina were still fast asleep. A devilish grin spread across his face.

Perfect.

He placed the cut-up pile of the girl's clothes in the exact same spot he took them from. He quietly snuck out the door and started to pull it closed, but then stopped. He thought it might be better to leave the door wide open, so he did.

When he got downstairs, he started to make his way towards the phone. George saw him and called out, which made Ringo turn his head around and stare at John.

John felt slight sweat running down the back of his neck. "Hey, George. D'ya get good sleep?" His voice shook nervously.

"Yeah........"

George looked like he was waiting for something. John stood there trying to look as innocent as possible.

George laughed. "You're definitely up to something, John. You had that crazy look in your eyes, and now you're sweating."

John stood there. "Uh.......uh......uh."

Ringo had been staring at John the whole time, and had now turned his head back around to look at George.

"Naw, it's okay. He's just trying to get rid of another one of Paul's girlfriends." He said nonchalantly.

John's jaw dropped. George's did too.

"And you're just gonna let him?!" George yelled.

Ringo shrugged, then turned his head around again to look at John.

"Am I involved in this prank in any way?" Ringo raised an eyebrow. "Are you gonna burn me leg again, or something?"

John quickly shook his head. Ringo turned back around and looked at George.

"I'm fine with it, then." Ringo shrugged again.

John smiled and went to the phone in the other room. As he left he heard George ask "How long had he been doing this?"

John took the number out of his pocket and dialed it.

"Hello?" Said a deep voice.

"Yeah, hi, is this Jim?" John said doing his best impression of a girl.

"......yeah. And who might this be?" Jim asked.

"This is Karen. I just called to say that I met your girlfriend and she's really nice."

"Ok, is that it?"

"Oh yeah, one more thing. She's cheating on you with some super cute boy. She's in his house right now. I don't think he knows she has a boyfriend though, so you shouldn't blame him." John said all of it really quickly.

There was a few seconds of silence. Then John heard a low grumble. "I'm gonna kill her. She said that she was sleeping over at her friend's house."

John supressed his excitement and continued to talk in a girly voice. "If you want you can have the address!"

He then gave their address and hung up the phone. He squealed with excitement. He ran back into the other room where George and Ringo were sitting talking. They looked up at him and looked worried.

"Uh-oh." Said George. "This must be a good one, eh?"

John smiled and nodded while jumping up and down.

"Alright, alright. Calm down. You're ruining a man's love life. The least you can do is feel sorry for it." George scoffed.

John stopped jumping and the smile left his face. "Sorry. It's just that plans of mine have never been this perfect."

He turned to Ringo, then back to George, then back to Ringo. "You two might want to get out of here. There's a slight chance this could turn ugly. And I promised that you wouldn't get hurt again, Ringo."

"Fair enough." Ringo shrugged.

Ringo and George both got up and walked to the bar down the street, with George practically clinging to Ringo.

John closed the front door behind them, and rubbed his hands together in mischief. He started to turn but immediately there was a knock on the door.

John opened it and saw the big man standing in the doorway. He gulped quietly, then gathered his courage.

"Can I help you, sir?" John did his best to sound confused.

"Yeah." Grunted the man. "I heard my girlfriend Tina was here."

John acted astounded. "Your girlfriend! That's absurd!"

The guy raised an eyebrow. "And why is that?"

"Because my friend has a girl upstairs with him named Tina, too! What a coincidence."

The guy pushed John aside and walked in. The man yelled up that stairs at the top of his voice. "Tina!"

John smiled "Uh, where are you going, sir?"

The guy made his way up the stairs. "I'm going to murder my girlfriend, and teach her new guy a lesson."

"What?! No, no, no, no, no!" John ran up after him. He was smaller and quicker than Jim and made it to the top of the stairs. Jim was still slowly making his way up.

Movements and whispers were coming from Paul's room. The door was wide open. John heard Paul frantically whisper.

"Quickly. If you're wearing clothes he might think we haven't done anything yet!"

"I can't!" Tina's voice sounded twice as worried. "All my clothes are cut up into pieces!"

"What? How?!"

John held in his giggled and turned to the man, who was now at the top of the stairs. "Tina!"

Tina let out a high-pitched scream. Jim was now in the doorway, completely enraged at what he was seeing. Tina was naked and yanked the blanket off Paul's bed to cover herself up. Paul stood on the other side of the bed looking like he was about to faint. John stood right outside the door and was getting ready to watch the whole thing go down. None of the others seemed to notice he was even there.

"I'm going to kill you!" Jim screamed.

John smiled, but then his eyes widened when he saw that Jim was actually talking to Paul.

Jim charged at Paul. Paul screamed. Tina shrieked.

"Uh-oh." Frowned John. "This is not how I was expecting it to go down."