I Wanna Be Your Man

Chapter 16

While he was gassed, John had a nice dream where he saw him and Paul, old and wrinkly, sitting on the shore of a nice little farm in Scotland. They were laughing and talking, Paul was painting a little, John was doodling things here and there. It felt real to John, and it was his own dream, his own fantasy, yet he still couldn't tell whether they were just friends or not. John had woken up, and never got to find out. When going back to sleep that night, along with Paul, he had hoped to return to that beautiful place, but instead had chilling nightmares of abandonment. His father leaving him, his mother leaving him, his Uncle George leaving him, and then finally, Paul going off and leaving him, marrying some random woman. As much as John tried to run up to Paul, him and the girl just kept moving farther and farther away, until John fell into a pit, and was jolted awake. He then lies staring at the ceiling for a long time.

Paul slowly opened his eyes. He looked at the hospital clock and yawned. It was 8 in the morning. He looked over at John, who was staring at him.

"Oh!" Paul jumped a little. "How long have you been awake?"

John gave a little shrug. "An hour, maybe." He looked kind of scared.

"What's wrong?" Paul questioned.

John bit his lip. "I think I need to tell you something. I think it will make me feel better."

"Oh. Okay. Well, just know I'm here to listen."

John stared at the ceiling. There was now pain in his eyes. Not physical, but mental and emotional. He wanted to do it now. He wanted to tell Paul about the terrible things he did to him. But he couldn't. Paul would never speak to him again. But right at this moment, John felt it was the best time. Paul might go slightly easier on him in a hospital.

"Paul?" John turned to Paul and bit his lip.

"Yeah, John?" Paul raised his eyebrows and looked at John with his big puppy eyes.

John gulped.

"It's about you, and a bunch of your girlfriends, and your flings, and you whatever-you-call-thems."

"What?" Paul chuckled. "Jealous?"

John cocked his head and thought "You have no idea."