The Player // Baekhyun's FF [EN]

17. They are official

~~~ EXO - WHAT IF ~~~

She was on the emotional rollercoaster for two days in a row.

Too much happened and it took ages for it to sink in, so  that she could deal with it in her own way. She didn't know what to do. It was next day after her discovery about her dad, being the worst father as always. She was aware of it before, but she found out she is still that naïve girl she used to be before she finally found out who her dad is.

She let out sad laughter. She was in her room, which she didn't leave since Baekhyun left, after standing in front of the front door for almost hour yesterday. She hardly had any sleep, kept replaying the moments in her life, which left her broken, creating one scar after another. Funny thing was, thatmost of them, she gained thanks to her father.

She sometime wished, she could lose memories of him, all of them brings her only pain anyway, or at least go back to the time, when she decided to know truth about him. But that would make her weak. She could at least thank him, that his cold behaviour towards her, and how badly he treated her, made her somehow stronger.

She finally knew why exactly Baekhyun choose her to be the main character in his charade. He pitied her. How could he not, when he knew the whole truth. She shouldn't have send those stupid letters. She stopped sending them more than two years ago, but it didn't hold her from being entangled with this world, which was exactly why she eventually quit and to stop the feeling of grief taking over her mind, every time she didn't get the response.

She didn't want to hope for the reply from him, but it looked like in the end it was exactly what she desired. How pathetic. Now she knows exactly what he thought of her and her attempts to get his attention. It all ended up in the bin, literally.
She didn't cry, even though she wanted to. She was hurt, exactly like Baekhyun predicted.

She felt too embarrassed after she realized Bakehyun read all of it, all her deepest thoughts, finding out how stupid she is. She buried her head into the pillow under her head, muffling the moans of desperation.

She felt defeated and she didn't like it. She thought of running away, but Baekhyun's words hunted her. She couldn't do that, it would mean, she failed in gaining what she wanted in a first place when she came here. She slowly let the idea of getting closer to her father slip through her fingers. Though she is not going to let him, control her life, like he apparently is used to do it with all the people under his watch.

And all this thinking brought her to another big decision of her life. Another one, which contained Baekhyun somewhere in it.
After she thought about all her possibilities, she was now sitting in one of the dressing room in SM building, getting her make up done.

"Would you like your hair down? Or should we tie them up?" the hairdresser asked her, while she was blankly staring at her reflection.

"Do what you think is best," she murmured, letting the stylist to do whatever they want with her. She was nervous wreck. Even though she came here willingly, she felt like she is about to marry against her will, like she always reads in the books or sees in the movies. She was clutching her hands, being perfectly aware of the fact she is sweating all over her body, which probably the make up artist didn't  appreciated, when fixing her face up.

When all this was done, she went to change her casual clothes, to khaki leather skirt and white loose crop top. When she observed herself in the mirror, when she was ready to go and pursue her dream, she couldn't recognize her own face.
This was the closest to a style of the idol, she got so far. She liked what she saw. Her hair falling over her shoulders in brown shiny soft waves, not so evident natural make up and pink lips.