My Poems

Numbers

I no longer feel a person, Because I am not. 

I am just an amount of numbers. 

Everything in life is measured in numbers. That is our illusion of control. 

But for me it is the complete opposite.

The numbers control me. 

My weight, Age, Height... Days. 

It all controls me and makes me into a person I no longer recognise.

What If I told you that the number four is currently in the lead? 

Four, The number that beats me down every single day, It's a reminder that I failed, That I can't do anything to live a normal life. 

That's the number of days since I last relapsed. 

The last day I felt so unbearably worthless that I had to hurt. 

Four, Four four! 

I can't stand the number fucking four. 

But you know what?

I can change that I have control. 

I can change that number. 

And right now, Instead of four... Its now zero