My Poems

The Voices.

From the moment I wake up to the moment I go to sleep- I feel like i will always hear something. 

I will wake sometimes because I can hear the constant bickering inside my own mind.

'Too fat' 'not good enough' 'liar' 'not good enough' 'failure' ...

I try to do things that will make me happy but at the end of the day I will be tormented by my own self hate that has
manifested its self into my brain. 

My brain is a cow and these voices that I am conflicted with is the cast iron used by my mental health to show me that I am it's to control. 

That I am nothing but the puppet they allow me to be. 

some days I feel numb. numb to everything I encounter. 

The people on the street, my family everything. I couldn't try to feel anything even If I wanted to. 

And then there are days where I am a donkey and my feelings are the tones of bricks I am going to carry through my whole life. 

Sometimes crippling me so I can not move a muscle. 

sometimes. just some they will lay dormant. 

they will let me speak, talk about horrors they force me to see and speak freely about it all. 

But like a cruel master, they will never truly let me go. They come back and will punish me for speaking my words. 

Curse me to be a walking talking fool who will never not be under the power of them. 
and that alone is terrifying