My Poems

Clean Streak

                                                                                        Clean streak. 

I went on a clean streak, I made myself clean.

I scrubbed my skin until I could no longer feel the hands all over my body, I washed my hair till i could no longer feel the pulling. 
I scrubbed my teeth until I could no longer feel the tar, I drank water until I could no longer feel the burning of vodka and whiskey. 

I showered three times a day and repeated everything twice just so I could feel as if my skin was my own. 
I stuffed my ears full of cotton so I could no longer hear the voices, I stopped talking so I could no longer hear my own screams. 

I stayed locked away so I wouldn't see anything. 

I isolated myself, every single day just so I wouldn't have to face what was out side my door. 

...
Days began to go past.. 

I slowly stopped scrubbing my skin, I eventually stopped washing my hair...

I began to smoke those tar filled poison sticks again, I casually swapped my water for something stronger.
I took the cotton out of my ears, I let the voices control me, 

I began to talk again, I screamed at everything and couldn't stop. I left my house but only at night where no one would find me. 

But during the day I still stayed inside... why?
Because during this time I also stopped other things...

I stopped eating every day, Why? because every time i ate I knew I got bigger. and I needed to. 

I began to slide my blades across my arms, Why? because i needed that release 
I began to stop talking to people... why? because it was easier than hurting them.

                                                   but hey, I am still on some kind of clean streak...  
                                                                          aren't you proud?