My Poems

Now

Today I woke up with my head thumping, screaming for its release. 

I chugged down my black coffee and listened as the toddler in my head silenced its tantrum,

I walked today. Not just around my house but along the crowded streets. The child in my mind became restless and began to destroy my patience until I caved screaming and crying to my self while others watched me. 

Now?

I am hiding in my bed drinking the alcohol that we would drink on our nights in. Drinking entire bottles to my self. the sad teenager that is slummed in my head is silent as it sips on the alcohol that is my sadness and depression. Mixed into a cocktail that is only turned by the haunting though of our friendship. 

I let the tears roll down my face as I stare at the card I am supposed to send soon so that it reaches you on your birthday on time thinking. "But she doesn't care anymore" 

How am I supposed to be happy with my self when you see and think so little of me.

How do I force my self to be the bigger person when one of the few things that gave me joy hates me?

Can you answer me now that you have broken me?

Can you tell me NOW?!