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7: Math Sucks

Tuesday- 10:00 a.m.

Elizabeth P.O.V.

I haven't slept. I just kept rolling back and forth in bed. I had to get out bed in the middle of the night and pace back and forth to see if I could calm my mind down. It was running like a cheetah last night.

"Ugly. Worthless. Unloved. Fat. Damn. Just kill yourself. You will never be happy. Nobody ever wants you here. Your parents divorced because of you. You deserve everything that the kids at school do to you. Broken. Coward. Lifeless. Cry baby. Freak. Lazy. Your a waste of space. Stop stealing oxygen from the important people." My brain yelled at me all night. All I could was close my eyes and hold back the tears. It hurt more than when the kids at school say it. I go to school to be bullied by everyone and come home to get beat up on by my mom than go to bed to bully myself.

I now sat on the cold tile of the bathroom. Only in my bra and underwear. Cool tears slipping down my face. I didn't feel sad I just felt nothing. My body felt numb as I watched the blood slip down my arms. My vision was blurred but I could see the shiny, blood cover, razor blade sitting on the white tile. I have made multiple cuts on my arms...legs...hips. I bite my bottom lip and leaned my head back on the wall.

"She might be still sleeping." I heard Jack say from out side my bedroom door. The walls in this house were so thin you could hear everybody. I could here him chuckling from something.

"Yeah I guess." Daniel said. I heard them walk down the steps and I let my eyes close. Hearing all the footsteps placing my room all morning made me feel invisible.

"JACK!" I heard Corbyn yell in irritation. It made me jump and look at the bathroom door.

"I'm sorry. It was an accident." Jack apologized.

"Guys, quiet down Elizabeth is still sleeping." Jonah reminded them.

"I gotta change." Corbyn sighed. I heard his footsteps up the stairs and down the hall. I wonder what the guys would do if they found me in here like this? I sighed and shook my head as if erasing the question. I used all my strength to stand up. I grabbed the blade and rinsed it off before putting it back with the kit. I turned on the shower and stripped the rest of my clothing off.

Today when the water hit the wounds it stung. It didn't bother me to much though. I quickly cleaned myself and made sure there was no trace of blood on me or in the shower. I stepped out of the shower and dried my body off with a soft towel. I wrapped my arms and legs with white bandage and just put the big squares on my hips where there was cuts. I put on my warm soft white robe and tied it tightly around me. I did my normal steps of drying my hair and pulling it into a high ponytail. I put in my contacts and put concealer on and curled my lashed.

I left the bathroom after that to get an outfit. I put on a bra, underwear, tight black leggings, a black tank top, and an over sized knitted sweater. I put on some black angle socks than opened my bedroom door. The house was quiet which was new. I walked down the steps to hear Zach mumbling things in the kitchen. He sounded aggravated with something. I walked toward the kitchen slowly and cautiously. He was sitting at the island with his laptop in front of him and a notebook next to it. I decided I wouldn't die if I walked in so proceeded into the kitchen.

"God damn it!" He said slamming his pencil down making me jump. "Sorry."

"Its okay." I said opening the fridge to get a Gatorade and started getting my meds out. "What are you doing?" I asked looking at him.

"Math." He mumbled angrily. "It makes no sense."

"Oh..." I trailed off taking my pills.

"No your wrong computer! Thats the answer!" He yelled at the computer. I chuckled and sipped on my drink. He ran his fingers through his hair and starred at the screen. He began writing things down on the notepad and looking at the screen.