the strangers series. (mgk ; machine gun kelly)

31 • 𝖗𝖊𝖆𝖘𝖔𝖓𝖘

No matter how long i spent worrying about Nick and whether he would actually keep his distance from me, i just knew i was wasting my precious time worrying for nothing.
There was no reason for me to keep mulling over him- it was like i wasn't allowing myself to enjoy my life with the man i had been wanting to live with for a while now.
I smiled at the sudden thought of him as i glanced over to the other side of the backyard, my eyes immediately resting on his familiar blond-brown hair. He was surrounded by a group of familiar men, his back to me as they all talked about god knows what. Despite not facing me, I could still, slightly, see the smile on his face as he threw his head back, laughing at something one of them had said.
Even over the trap music playing through speakers and the chatter of other people milling about, you could still hear his laughter.
The whole group of them started laughing too, the charismatic sounds of their laughs sounding like music to my ears. It was such a happy sound- something i could listen to forever.
Especially his laugh.
I was dragged back to reality as i felt a nudge on my shoulder, a giggle in my ear as well,
"Want a napkin for the drool comin' out of your mouth or-?"
My eyes darted over to meet Camila's, the wide smirk on her lips making me wanna blush. I rolled my eyes as i nudged her back, shaking my head as i set my eyes on the coffee table in front of us,
"Shut up."
I could feel the rest of their eyes on me as i avoided theirs, wanting nothing more than to just be left alone to my own devices. And as if on cue, it was as if my mind receded back into itself, leaving me in my head once again. My eyes involuntarily flitted around the coffee table that was covered with nugs, grinders, a bong, pieces and rolling papers. It was a familiar sight, the vision of the first time Kells and I had actually talked and the first time i met some of his friends re-entering my mind in an instant. I could see the faces of the men that had been sitting on the same couches next to the loveseat Kells and i were on as i glanced up at my own friends.
My eyes flickered over next to me and i could still see Kells, his button down from that night hanging loosely over his lean frame. His laugh echoed in my ear as he glanced over, his lips moving as he handed me the joint he had been rolling that night.
"Lilly-"
I blinked and the vision was something of the past- as if it was all just a figment of my imagination. My eyes met Camila's as she raised an eyebrow,
"Are you okay?"
She said this with a scoff but i knew she was a little worried- i had been distancing myself ever since Camila and Reece had arrived. I rubbed my temples as i laughed a little, nervously,
"Yeah, yeah, im fine."
My ears perked up at the sound of Reece's voice from nearby, my eyes glancing up to see his familiar, teasing smirk. He was sitting on the same spot Rook had been sitting on, right next to Lola who already had her curious gaze trained on me. The second i thought back to Lola, i thought of Rook and how they were already together that night when I found them, my mind wanting nothing more than to live in the past once again,
"You're actin' really weird. You aint fine."
It was a mere statement, the way Reece said it. I rolled my eyes as i closed them, willing myself not to think of the good ol' days when nothing was fucked up- the days when i thought my life was just about to begin.
I smiled all the while as i sat up, shaking off the weird vibe clinging to me,
"Im fine, i just need some air."
I didnt give the rest of them enough time to point out the fact that we were already outside as i stepped down the patio stairs, nearing closer to the house. I kept my eyes down as I walked the length of the pool, ignoring the chicks swimming around as his voice started to grow louder the closer i got to him.
Those deep notes of his were the only thing i could concentrate on as i willed myself to step forward.
I didn't glance up once, though, as i passed his group, keeping my eyes trained on my feet as i avoided the other pairs standing around.
I heard his voice halt as i passed him, leaving himself hanging mid-sentence. I caught an "i'll be right back" but i didnt realize it was him 'til i stepped into the kitchen.
I sighed in relief as i noticed only a couple people hanging around, suddenly glad for for the lack of people in here.
I didnt have a chance to revel in the feeling as i felt his familiar hand enclose itself around my wrist, pulling me back.
I relaxed my eyebrows before turning around to meet his stare. His lips were pursed and his own eyebrows were knitted, as if he was worried,
"Hey, you okay?"
I flashed a fake smile as i reassured him, acting as if nothing was wrong,
"Yeah- i'm gucci. Why'd you think i wasn't?"
Immediately, he loosened his grip on my wrist, as if my words and the tone in my voice made him feel as if he was acting crazy.
He shrugged as i slid my wrist out of his hand and turned back around, making my way to the fridge as he spoke back up,
"I dont know- somethin' seemed off 'bout you out there,"
I bit my lip as i grabbed a beer off one of the shelves, sighing before turning back around to face him.
I caught the worry still laced beneath his baby blues and i knew he could sense whatever was going on with me. It would be a waste of time to feed him bullshit- he had a good knack for seeing through it.
I sighed as i eyed the man and woman at the other side of the kitchen, their own eyes flickering towards us every once in a while as they murmured to each other. It didnt take a genius to realize they were trying to listen in on our shared words.
Kells followed my actions as he, too, noticed the other strangers. He cleared his throat as he nodded his head towards the foyer, picking me up on his way out of the kitchen so i didnt have a choice but to follow.
I gulped down the lump in my throat as i watched him lead me past the living room and into the foyer, the both of us met with the sight of more women and men filing in.
They immediately cheered and greeted Kells but he flashed a fake grin, his eyes dragging themselves across the crowd until it reached the staircase beside us. He immediately started for it, despite the people wanting to say hi to him.
It was kind of suffocating to be honest, being surrounded by acquaintances that you barely knew in such a tight space. I managed to paste a smile on to my face as they greeted me as well, before Kells led me away from them.
I sighed a little in relief as we climbed the stairs, finally met with the welcoming sight of no one.
Kells groaned a little as he rubbed his face, continuing to lead me down the hallway before he stopped in front of the game room- the same room i woke up in the first night i spent the night here. I couldn't help the slight smile that grew on my lips as i fell back into that moment in time, feeling the excitement i had felt of being around him for the first time all over again.
It wasnt like the rush had left once i had gotten used to being around him- because it didn't- but that ghost of a memory just made me feel nostalgic.
Kells raised an eyebrow at the smile but didnt say a word, just stepped aside as he let me walk in first.
I didnt say anything else either as i sighed, stepping into the spacious room without any hesitation.
If he wanted to talk, we'll talk.
I glanced over my shoulder as i walked over to the couch, slumping down onto the cushion as i felt the little energy i had left draining out of me in an instant.
I studied the way he closed the door before he walked over to me, sitting down right next to me as he kept those piercing eyes on me the whole time. I met his stare with one of my own as we slipped into the comfortable silence.
I didnt know how long it was until he spoke up, breaking the silence that had been surrounding us.
He cleared his throat as he leaned his forearms on his knees, staring back at me as he leaned over his legs,
"So, you gonna tell me what's up?"
I felt the familiar urge to smile start to take control of my lips as i kept my eyes on him for longer. I couldnt help it- the longer i stared into those light, blue eyes and watched the way the edges of his lips dipped upwards, the more it made me wanna just melt.
I bit my lip as i glanced down at my own legs, sinking back into the plush leather as i answered him,
"I dont know what you want me to say? Nothing's up-"
Kells immediately scoffed, flashing me a "stop bullshitting me" look. It was a look he has perfected over the years of dealing with men just like himself- and now he was using it on me.
He leaned back into the couch as well, still keeping his face faced towards me as he muttered under his breath,
"Don't make me ask again, Lilly,"
It wasnt really a threat but more of a plea- he was begging me to just spill my heart and soul out because i kept refusing to.
I gulped down the building lump in my throat again as i watched his adam's apple bob in his own throat.
It seemed to me as if we were both struggling to keep ourselves above the high tide that threatened to drown us both- and we were both failing.
I shook my head as i licked my lips, allowing myself to open up to the man sitting next to me. It wouldnt be a relationship if we couldnt be honest with each other, now, would it?
I sighed before parting my lips, mentally readying myself for the probable onslaught of questions and disgusted remarks,
"I'm just thinking- about the past and of... other things."
The haste in my voice was what really caught his attention. Kells straightened up a little as he raised an eyebrow at me, his striking eyes taking in every inch of my face as he waited for me to respond,
"Other things? Like what?"
Oh, here goes nothin'.
I cleared my throat as i built the nerve to look up at him, his stare making me wanna just crawl back into my hole and block him out. I knew by mentioning Nick and telling him what had happened between us a couple nights ago, it would ruin the mood and i didnt want it to.
Nothing good could come out of this.
Kells chuckled a little as he motioned his hand towards me to keep going as i just sat there and stared at him, my mind running blank,
"You gonna tell me or-?"
I sighed as i glanced up at the ceiling, feeling the weight of the world slowly starting to fall on my shoulders as i spoke the words i wanted to keep away from him forever,
"Its not about what but about who. I was just thinking about Nick."
The silence that immediately ensued confirmed my suspicions- that made Kells a little apprehensive, i could tell.
I glanced back down at the man who was now sitting up as straight as a ruler, his eyebrows furrowed and lips pursed. He clenched his jaw before speaking up, his deep voice now an octave lower,
"Why?"
I racked my brain for the correct words, words that i knew wouldn't trigger him. I licked my lips a little as i managed to maintain eye contact, the thudding of my heart in my ears making it hard for me to hear myself,
"We talked. At the factory-"
Kells immediately tensed up even more, his shoulders now as tense and raised as ever. He scoffed a little as he faced his body towards me, putting every ounce of his attention on me and the words i spoke,
"What do you mean 'at the factory'?"
I sighed, already starting to get a little annoyed with him. He was just asking questions he already knew the answers to, especially when it only took common sense to figure it all out.
I gritted my teeth a little as I kept talking, my eyes analyzing the way the deep lines on his face grew deeper,
"He was at the factory and wanted to talk to me- and i did. He wanted closure- thats all."
I let my sentence drag off from there as i lost myself in his eyes. It felt like every frustrated bone in my body seized to be frustrated, leaving me empty and numb.
Kells mirrored my feelings as he too started to relax, his eyebrows unknitting from themselves as he whispered,
"Did you? Did you give him closure?"
For some reason it sounded like an absurd question, mainly because he shouldve known by now that that will be all I'd ever give him. Despite wanting to point that out, i nodded, mustering up the strength to finally look away from his piercing stare,
"Yeah, of course i did."
I could tell he was still studying my every move, the phantom feeling of his eyes on me starting to grow stronger the longer i didnt look back at him.
I gulped down the building lump in my throat again as he spoke back up, his statement sending a wave of unexplainable emotions over me,
"But you still miss him."
The way he said it confirmed that it was an observation and not a question- there was no doubt in his mind that i still missed the fucking dipshit.
I nodded to his words as i glanced back up at him, surprised with the sudden sympathy laced in his eyes. It was a look he rarely gave to anyone so it was shocking,
"Well, yeah, but im not sure if i miss him or if i miss the simplicity of my life back before he started fucking with me."
The look on his face was now replaced with nothing at all but a slight hint of empathy in his sad eyes. His adams apple bobbed a little as he muttered, finishing my train of thought for me,
"With us."
I nodded in response, feeling at a loss for words- i just didnt know what to say anymore. I gulped a little before schooching even closer to him, my arms winding up around his neck as i brought him to me.
He didnt hesitate one bit as he, too, wrapped his arms around me, closing me in a vice. It felt nice, as if all i needed was a hug from him to feel better.
I felt the familiar burning sensation in my eyes behind my closed lids but it seized to burn as i felt his heartbeat against mine.
It was as if everything just stopped- my mind and thoughts- as i observed what i was hearing and feeling.
He sighed against my ear as he pressed his cheek into my hair, nothing but remorse in his deep voice,
"I'm sorry that this had to happen to you- all of it. You dont deserve to feel like this-"
I shook my head immediately, wrapping my arms even tighter around him,
"No, stop- we've been over this before. You have nothing to be sorry about- it's just how life works,"
I blinked away the tears as I pulled back a little, face to face with his own teary eyes.
It was a sad sight, seeing such a strong man breaking right in front of your eyes. He shook his head a little as he began to speak but i stopped him, wanting nothing more than to reassure him.
I sighed as I smiled a little, wiping away the tear threatening to spill from his own eye,
"I just have to put this all behind me- we both do. I mean, i just have to accept that everything that has happened, has happened for a reason-"
I felt my throat close up a little as i felt my mind run blank. He didnt bother saying anything as he went mute, his eyes darting back and forth from one eye to the other as he studied me. I could see the hint of a tiny smile on his lips before he closed the distance between ours.
I immediately kissed back as i let my mind lose itself in his kiss like i usually did- his lips were a pair i never wanted to be deprived of.
He pulled away a few seconds later, leaving me gasping for breath from how deep and passionate it was. He paused for a little as he brushed his lips against mine once more, our noses touching for a second before he pulled away again, allowing me to finish my sentence.
I smiled, allowing my hands to run themselves through his hair as i clutched onto him for dear life.
My words made a smile return onto his lips as i spoke them, making my heart swell the longer i stared at it,
"The reason was you. Without you, i dont know where i'd be- and if i had to, i'd go through all of it all over again- for you."

A/N: next chapter will be the last :): spoiler: closure, forreal this time lol