Bullied

Chapter 6

Saturday Night

I looked at the clock... 19:00. Good, I wasn't going to be late. I went into the bathroom and stripped. I stepped into the shower and turned on the boiling water, I found it so refreshing.

Around half an hour later, I was done. I dried my hair and then decided to curl it. I did my make-up adding only a little bit of eyeliner, lip stick and of course, highlighter. I went into my room and saw that my mom had picked out an outfit for me to wear. It wasn't like what I would normally wear but I knew that she wouldn't let me wear anything else. Before I left my room I took a quick mirror selfie for instagram.

Once I was done I went downstairs and did a little twirl to show my mom how I looked, I heard her gasp and I giggled. "Awwww, my baby girl is all grown up," She told me

"Mom, I'm not grown up, I'm always going to be you little girl, don't worry," I reassured her, "Do I look nice?"

"Honey, you look beautiful, you're going to have all the boys drooling over you," She laughed.

"Alright mom, see you later. Don't wait up for me." I advised, "I don't know when I'll be coming back

"I won't, say hey to Jaden for me," 

"Mom, what? I'm not going out with Jaden. It's not like that between us. I'm going with Bryan from work." I snapped.

"Alright honey," I could hear sarcasm in her voice. 

"Don't forget to use protection," she added, "I'm not ready for grandchildren."

I laughed and walked out. I loved my mom so much, she was the greatest, she was my best friend and she helped me through my darkest times. I don't know what I would do without her. Tonight was the night for relaxing. Bryan went to a different school so nobody I knew was going to be there. I called a taxi and checked my phone, it was eight but that's okay, you should never be the first at a party, right?

I arrived around ten minutes later. The party started less than an hour ago and it was already crowded. I walked around, hoping I would find Bryan soon. There were so many people around me I was finding it hard to breathe. I went to the kitchen and poured some punch in a cup. I drank some and surprisingly it had a bitter taste to it. Ugh alcohol, I never drank unless it was a special occasion.  I put the cup down and started walking around the house looking for Bryan. I felt so out of place, everyone was talking to their friends or making out and I was all alone, I felt uncomfortable.

After ten minutes of searching, I decided to leave. "Why did I even come to this party?" I wondered, " Parties aren't my thing." 

Just as I reached for the door knob, I heard Bryans voice behind me. At first it was muffled and I couldn't understand what he was saying but then he got closer, "I'm so glad you made it, you look beautiful,"

I turned my face away as I felt his eyes look me up and down. " thanks," I answered starting to feel awkward. 

He quickly said "Um, would you like to drink something,"

I nodded my head. He held out his hand for me so I took it and followed him to the kitchen. He poured a cup of what I assumed was beer and handed it to me . He poured himself a cup as well and motioned me to sit down. He sat down and just stared forward for about a minute, not paying attention to me.

"I'm really glad that you came Ashley," He began, "I've been wanting to tell you this for a while now but I just didn't have the guts to do it. Now is a pretty good time, so here it goes. I don't know how to start, because I'm afraid it might be the end of our friendship or, if I'm lucky, it could be the realization of my dreams, which is for you to feel the same way about me as I do for you. I told myself, I might as well take the risk because it's the only remedy I know of that could let loose this feeling I've been keeping inside me all this time.

I know you'll find it hard to believe me if I tell you how much you mean to me. I hardly understand what I feel for you but I know that I've never felt like this before. I don't know how to pour out my feelings for you now. I wanted to find the perfect words to make you realize how much I like you, but words continue to elude me; what could they be? Something poetic? I'm sure it should be heartfelt and out of the ordinary but I'm afraid it's no use because every time I look at you, the words just get jumbled up and I can't say anything."

I opened my mouth to say something but my words failed me. Nobody had ever had feelings for me like that, how was I supposed to respond? Did I even think of him in the same way? It was all too much for me. He could probably tell that something was wrong because he said, " You don't have to say anything yet, I just wanted you to know. Before you decide can I please do what I have been wishing to do since the first time I laid eyes on you?"

I nodded my head unsure what he was talking about. But then he kissed me and the world fell away. It was slow and soft, comforting in ways that words would never be. His hand rested below my ear, his thumb caressing my cheek as our breaths mingled. It was amazing but it wasn't what I wanted. My heart wasn't excited, there weren't butterflies in my stomach and he wasn't Jaden. Before I knew it and before I could respond, Bryan wasn't with me anymore, he was pinned up at the refrigerator.