Bullied

Chapter 18

I thought that what I told Jaden would just make the bullying ten times worse but they actually stopped and I was able to normally go to school. The voice in my head was beginning to win dominance and I believed it. It followed me wherever I went, making me doubt everything I did. I couldn't take it anymore I needed it to stop.

My mom had gone away for work and I was going to be alone for the next two weeks, she had insisted that I should have someone to look after me but I managed to convince her that I wasn't a little child anymore and could take care of myself. She only agreed to let me be alone, as I had promised to call her everyday when I came home from school and before I went to sleep.

When I came back from school on Friday, she was already gone and there was a note saying that she had left me money for food but the fridge was full in case I wanted to make something myself as she knew I loved cooking.

I woke up on Sunday morning and looked around my room, it was a mess but I didn't have any energy to clean it, I didn't have enough energy for anything. I was falling behind on schoolwork but whenever I tried to study or do homework I couldn't concentrate so I kept on postponing it. I looked over to my desk and under the empty pizza box, I could see my books calling at me, to finish the homework that I hadn't even started and was for tomorrow but I turned over in my bed and closed my eyes.

I was finally starting to drift off when the doorbell rang. "Who the hell is that?" I wondered. I ignored it and tried to go back to sleep but whoever was at the door was persistent and kept on ringing. I groaned and got up looking at myself in the mirror, I looked like hell: my eyes were red and swollen from crying; my hair, that hadn't been washed since Thursday, was up in a bun that was falling apart and I was in old worn out pajamas but couldn't be bothered to care. I walked past the kitchen and glanced over at the sink that was now almost full of dirty dishes that I couldn't find the strength to clean and I went to the door. I opened it and the person I had least expected to see was standing in front of me with a bouquet of flowers in his hand. "Ashley I came here to-" he stopped when he saw what I looked like, "Oh my god Ashley, are you alright?"

"Peachy," I answered annoyed that he had come unannounced and interrupted my sleep.

He didn't seem to quite believe me but said, "May I come in?"

I shrugged my shoulders and opened the door wider so he could pass through. He went to the kitchen, got out a vase, filled It with water and then put the flowers in it and put it on the table. He looked over at the pile of dishes and immediately set to work.

I sat down while he was cleaning and there was silence for a while, "What do you want Jaden? Why are you here?" I asked.

He stopped and turned, "I just wanted to say that I'm sorry, I'm really fucking sorry. I saw you with Bryan that day and I just burst, I couldn't deal with the thought of you leaving me so I just decided it would be better if I stopped talking to you. I thought I could just ignore you but whenever I saw you, my heart would just explode and the image of you and Bryan would reappear and I was just pissed. I know that this is no excuse for my horrible behavior but I hope that this can be one step closer to you forgiving me and us going back to how we were,"

I stayed silent not knowing how to reply and so Jaden turned back around and started doing the dishes. "What you didn't see, Jaden, was me pushing Bryan off the second I registered what was happening. I told him that I couldn't because I was with you," I could see his eyes widening, proving that my theory was true, "You should have just talked to me, that's what you're supposed to do when in a relationship: communicate. I believe that you're sorry and I forgive you, I really do but I just don't think I could ever go back to how it was before. You promised me you'd be there for me but you just left and it hurt, so bad. It was a million times worse because I cared for you, I still do but I just can't risk going through that again, I'm sorry."

He nods "Thank you and once again, I am truly sorry. If there is ever anything that you need, come to me."

I bit my lip and look away on the verge of tears. Once he finishes with all the dishes, he dries his hands and gets up. I walk him to the front door and open it. Before he leaves, he turns back to me, kisses my forehead and whispers, "I love you Ashley, please stay safe."

I nod my head and close the door. I look over at the flowers he bought me that sit on the table, I lean against the door and slowly sink down while tears start pouring down my face. I walk over to my bedroom and head back to bed. I lay down feeling heaviness in my body and cry myself to sleep.