Bullied

Chapter 19

I barely woke up on Monday morning and despite what a bit part of me was thinking, I went to school. I couldn't focus during class so my thoughts drifted off to what had happened when Jaden came over, he said he loved me "Dumb bitch," something at the back of my head whispered, "do you really think he loves you? Please he just feels sorry for you. You're just a disgusting, ugly, worthless piece of trash that doesn't deserve to be loved." I blinked back my tears and tried to listen to what the teacher was talking about.

The week went by and from day to day, I found myself feeling deader and felt as if slowly all my energy was being drained. I didn't do any of the homework that I was given and paid no attention in class; I didn't care about anything. At least the bullying had stopped and I was able to be alone during school. Jaden, Chloe and all their friends were ignoring me and I was thankful.

The week went on and by the time it was Friday I felt completely emotionless. I cleaned up the house wanting it to be perfect for when my mom came back. I sat down and wrote what I had been dreading to write but knew I had to. I later sat on my bed and stared at the letter that rested on my desk.

I went to the kitchen to get some water when I saw the vase of flowers Jaden had got be. I went over to it to spill it and throw out to flowers but instead I threw it against the wall. I burst into tears. I slid to the floor weeping. "I'm sorry, I'm so, so sorry," I sobbed out knowing nobody was there to hear me, "I tried but I just cant take it anymore."

I crawled over to the broken glass that had shattered from the impact of when I threw it at the wall. I grabbed a big shard, not noticing that it had cut my hands making me bleed. I put it to my wrist but stopped, my mind was racing thoughts about whether or not I should do this but the voice at the back of my head urged me to.

I pressed the sharp glass down on my wrist and continued until I drew blood. I took in a sharp breath, rethinking my decision but went on until both of my arms were covered in my crimson red blood.

I laid down onto the floor and saw as both my tears and blood formed pools on the floor. I cried as the pain overcame me but at the same time felt relief, all my hurt and all my hurt was going to stop. I felt at peace and accepted everything I was feeling or thinking to come.

I was starting to feel light headed fast and just as I was about to lose consciousness, I faintly heard footsteps rushing towards me and someone shouting my name. I mustered up all my strength to open my eyes and saw that it was Jaden and he was holding a phone up. "Hold on Ashley, please baby, hold on. Hello, yes I need help immediately, my friend she tried to commit suicide and I-"

That was the last thing I heard before I closed my eyes and drifted off into oblivion.