Bullied

Chapter 8

All of sudden, way too soon in my opinion, he pulled away. I looked at his eyes, trying to decipher what he was thinking. There was only one thing that I saw and it was crystal clear. Regret. He regretted kissing me he regretted all of this. Of course, why did I even think that he had feelings for me? How could I think that? After all the things he had done to me, why would he ever think anything good about me?

His warm, rich voice broke the awkward silence and snapped me out of my thoughts, "Why do you do that?"

"What do you mean? Why do I do what?" I said trying to sound strong, to sound brave.

"Why do you kiss me back? Why are you nice to me after everything I've done to you? Why don't you tell me to stop? I don't deserve this."

I felt heat rising in my cheeks. Why did I kiss him back? Why was I nice? I had no idea to be honest. "Because-because I know that there is still some good in you, no matter how much you try to hide it or keep it away from everybody, I know it's still there. Don't ever say that you don't deserve it; you deserve everything this world can give you" I told him.

"You don't get it, I'm not what you think I am. You deserve so much better than me," He whispers while caressing my cheek softly.

I bite my lip, "Don't you think that I would be a better judge of that,"

Silence overcomes us and we just sit there leaning on the tree like old times. I felt him put his arm around my shoulders and for some reason it made me feel safe and warm. I leaned in and put my head on his shoulder and we just sit there, in each other's company for a while.

I could feel him pulling on the sleeve of my dress motioning for me to sit in his lap. I think about it for a moment but then decide to do it. I sit down making sure that he can't see underneath my dress. He leans closer to me and so do I. We both stop a moment before we reach each other, our lips so close that if either of us moved the tiniest bit we would kiss. I lean my forehead on his and look at him. God, how I missed it, everything about him. His breath was on my neck, making me shiver.

"I'm so sorry," I hear him whisper, almost too quiet.

"It's okay," I answer, unsure of what else to say.

"But it's not, it's really not. All the things I've done to you-you probably think I'm a-"

I stopped him by lightly placing my index finger over his mouth "You're right, it's not okay but I forgive you."

He opened is mouth, to protest but I cut him off, "And that's completely my decision, you don't get to speak your opinion."

HE looked at me, his gaze was so strong that it felt like he was seeing through me and into my soul, reading all my deepest, darkest secrets. He wrapped his arms stronger around me. That was when I noticed that I was all tense and immediately relaxed. To my surprise, I felt comfortable and safe with Jaden and I wanted to stay there forever, to freeze that moment and relive it again and again. I turned my head down, not wanting to look him directly in the eyes. I fidgeted with my hands, hoping he would notice and it would draw the unwanted attention from my face.

Instead of getting him to look down, he gently lifted my chin up, making it nearly impossible for me not to look at him. He was desperately searching my face for something. For what? For forgiveness? Desire? Whatever he was looking for, he found it as his face softened and his grey eyes, which normally looked like a storm, had cleared and were now lit up like a Christmas tree.

I felt his hands take mine and faintly squeeze them. My heart fluttered. Wait, why did my heart flutter? I wasn't supposed to have those feelings for him. He was my bully. But that's the thing about hearts, they don't always do what you want them to, they don't use logic and they never take the easy way out yet we are always told to follow our hearts.

He lifted our hands and spread them. We intertwined our fingers and it felt like someone had electrocuted me. I felt tingles running through my body starting from the place he touched me. He grinned at me, the kind of smile that made him look like a child. I put my head down on his chest and exhaled a breath I didn't know I was holding.

I took one of my hands from his grip and started tracing shapes along his chest while my other hand was still secure in his tight hold.

After a few minutes I closed my eyes, dropping my hand back and focusing on his steady heartbeat and the rhythm of his breathing. His soft voice broke the silence once again, "Um, Ashley."

I slowly opened my eyes and moved my head so that I was facing him, immediately missing his hold. At that moment, all the playfulness from his face was clouded by anger and it was terrifying. "What the hell is this?" he asked sternly.

He lifted my hand into the air, in front of my face. I gulped, "Oh no," I thought, "He wasn't supposed to see that."