His Everything (JokerxOC)

Chapter 6: Hallucinations...

Alex POV

I opened my eyes and groaned picking my head up. I looked to see I was surrounded by darkness then looked down feeling cold water. I got up slowly, my nightdress and hair soaked with the freezing water, and looked around anxiously, my heart racing.

"Hello?" I yelled out getting a echo. I winced feeling a pinch in my arm and saw my cuts bleeding. I jumped and looked over my shoulder hearing footsteps. I started walking away then ran as the footsteps went faster and louder. I covered my head and closed my eyes then I suddenly crashed into something hard. I fell back on a bed and opened my eyes and winced from the brightness. I began to panic as my wrists were bound then whimpered as I looked into the eyes of one of the many men that violated me.

"Thought you could escape me?" He asked touching my face. I turned away and began crying, closing my eyes tight. I shouldn't but I'm weak. 

"Darling..." I sat up but the man was gone, the darkness surrounding me once again. I looked up as water dripped on my head and groaned as I was held up by my wrists.

"So soft." A voice purred making my blood run cold. I began struggling as their hand snaked around my waist then gripped my jaw tight. I couldn't scream or yell because no sound came out.

"Just hold still and it'll hurt less." I continued struggling then grunted as they backhanded me. I fell to the floor and looked up seeing multiple faces. I covered my ears yelling as they pointed at me with laughter and smirked. I jumped up and touched my face panting. I scrambled off my bed and ran out my room crying.

"Joker, I had a-" I stopped as I entered the room to see him kissing Harley. I gasped and looked at them feeling my heart go tight.

"You're too late." Joker said smirking then resumed kissing her. I screamed and sat up hyperventilating, my body numb. I quickly grabbed the razor off my nightstand and made three cuts then calmed down. I held my head then slowly crept off the bed drenched in sweat. I hesitantly headed to Joker's room and entered since the door was cracked. I released a breath I was holding and headed over to him as he stood in front of his fireplace. I sniffled and wrapped my arms around him, my heart aching.

"Had another nightmare?" He asked making me nod. I sniffled and let him go as he turned around and looked at my bleeding wrist. I went to hide it feeling ashamed but he grabbed my arm frowning. Will he hit me?

"Don't hurt yourself more darling." He said sternly. I nodded and let him sit me down on his bed and wrap my arm. I wish things weren't like this.

"You can always tell me what's wrong, I won't abash you for it." He said making me shake my head. I can't. He'll hate me and leave me for dead. 

"I'm sorry." I whispered making him turn his head. "I really am."

"You have nothing to be sorry for. If anyone should it's me." He said serious, making my heart ache. Everything is my fault. I'm not as strong as I look.

"Well, you're not gonna disagree?" He asked chuckling making me crack a small smile. No.

"I should've worked more harder to find you. I should've done a lot." Joker said nodding with a sigh. My eyes widened as his voice began drowning out then Linda smirked and sliced his neck making me scream and hold my head.

"What? What is it?" I gasped looking at Joker seeing him still alive. I looked behind him then put my head down crying. Why am I still alive? I wrapped my arms around him and closed my eyes as he turned to dust.

"I can't take this." I cried moving away. I ran out his room and went to mine. I locked the bathroom door and looked at myself in the mirror disgusted. I pulled a gun out the drawer and held it to my head. I can't do it. I leaned against the sink annoyed. If anyone should I want it to be him. I walked out the bathroom seeing Joker step into my room.

"There you are. Why'd you run off?" He asked mocking hurt. I slowly walked up to him then looked into his eyes. I held the gun up making him sigh giving me a look.

"Take me out my misery." I said sniffling, my shoulders dropping. I'm losing him and already lost myself. I can't keep living with these nightmares.

"That's about the craziest shit I've heard today." Joker said laughing, pointing a finger at me.

"I'm serious. Do it." I pleaded pushing it up to him. I'm done trying. I'm done fighting. I'm done.

"What makes you think I'd do it?" He asked moving close to my face then moving back amused. I swallowed thick and let hot tears fall freely. Why is killing a problem now?

"Do you want me to suffer?" I asked sniffling, my body shaking. I tried to ignore the whispers and shadowy figures running by. It's not real. This isn't real!

"You'll get better. I know it." Joker said running a hand against my cheek. It felt soft and cold but began burning. I didn't deserve it.

"No, I'll never come back. Kill me." I growled getting frustrated. Joker turned away from me and shook his head.

"No." He replied making me march up to him and push the gun onto him.

"Kill me!" I yelled repeatedly until he had enough and grabbed the gun, holding it to my head. I sniffled as his eyes blazed with anger and pain.

"Pull the trigger." I whispered hanging my arms by my side. I gave a reassuring smile and nodded. He added pressure to the trigger and frowned at me. It's okay.

"Why are you making me do this?" Joker asked breathing hard. Because I betrayed him and can't put him through pain. 

"Alex is never coming back." I lied somewhat. 

"Maybe I don't want her to either. I want darling." He replied looking into my eyes sad. I closed my eyes shaking my head and opened them, holding my tears.

"They're all dead." I replied making him laugh. And I'll be too, for life.

"Oh, really? Who am I talking to?" Joker questioned amused, growling lowly. I searched my mind and heart but couldn't bring forth none of the names I've had history with. Maybe my heart.

"I don't know." I replied honest. I waited for him to pull the trigger but it never came. I gritted my teeth as Joker moved the gun from my head and dropped it on the dresser with a sigh.

"I'm not killing you." He said running a hand over his face. I huffed and grabbed the gun making him hum. 

"Then I'll kill myself." I bluffed holding it to my temple. I shook as he walked in front of me and growled under his breath while putting his lips against mine, my heart racing. I panted as he moved away and trailed a finger down my lips to my heart.

"You don't have the heart." Joker said chuckling, lifting my chin up, making me look into his eyes. I looked at him through blurry eyes and clutched the gun before falling to my knees. I dropped the gun and gripped the rug sobbing.

"Let's go take a nap." Joker said lifting me up into his arms. I laid my head on his shoulder and cried in his neck. I have to get away.