Confidant & Playlist

3. Dangerous

Spring 2009

I shove the door of the club open; anger boils in the blood just beneath my skin. The scent of alcohol, smoke and a twinge of musk hangs heavily in the air, threatening to cling to my clothes.

I have to talk to Lacey; I have to get his out of my system.

Before I can direct my attention to the dance floor, I notice that the entire crowd is focused on the stage. I direct my attention there. There are two poles near the front of the stage, one of which Delancy dressed in an incredibly short dress in platform heels is using. Towards the back Phoebe and Madison are at the other two poles toward the back in similar outfits. Just then, the music picks up and changes; Lacey walks out on stage.

Her hair is arranged in an organized mess, her lips are their natural color but shiny in the dim light. She wears a mini dress covered in glittering gold sequence and gold platform heels. Lacey stands at the center of the stage flanked by her girls: each tends to their own pole, entertaining the crowd. The music slows. The money throwing begins immediately.

Lacey presses her back the pole sliding down its length to the floor, she lays down on her back and her hair pools there. She stares up at the ceiling for a few moments before she slides her arms but by her face and turns her head to the left. Her eyes fall in my direction and her lips part slightly. She slowly peels her body up off the floor by way of the pole and glances over her shoulder. She then, hoists her self up on the pole and spins from the center of the pole to the floor, landing as soundlessly as she left. She leaves her post moving about the stage as the music hammers through the thick sweltering heat of the room. Alcohol rides on the dense air making it hard to breath in anything but its sickly sweet scent. I head toward the stage, navigating through the mesmerized audience.

I have to talk to her Lacey.

Thinking of Nikki makes my blood begin to simmer again, nearly boiling to the point of steam escaping through my ears like an enraged cartoon character. I've never been anything but good to her. I took care of her, I treasured her, I loved her. That break up came out of nowhere. She used to tell me how talented I was, that someday I would make it, that I deserved it; what happened to that Nikki?

Lacey's features call my eyes to body. Her curves, her edges, her lines, her angles. Her face is etched in an unidentifiable, almost detached expression but she seems aware of everything that is transpiring around her.

Nikki told me that we were through like someone would say 'were out of milk'. She went from showering me with compliments and encouragement to telling me that I would never make it, that I would forever be on-the-verge-of-a-contract. Then came the complaints of how I wasn't providing for her when she was the one who wanted to move in to my small apartment in the first place, only to complain about the size again. Even though she complained about the simplest things, I thought that we were still ok, that she would stay with me. I thought that what I felt would be enough for the both of us.

Lacey's eyes pan over the crowd carelessly as she continues dancing, she stalks across the stage in complete control and all eyes follow.

Today, when I saw Nikki with him, her new man, the shit hit the fan. We've barely been apart a month and she's already started seeing someone else. I had gone to apologize, to say that I was going to to better, to try and get her back but instead of finding her alone he was with her. He was what I saw. Even after I left, I contemplated going back. It's unreal what she does to me. With one look from her hazel eyes she can reel me back in again and again like a marionette with strings that she manipulates with a simple flick of her wrist.

Lacey's eyes find me. Her gaze cuts through the crowd like a knife, nearly snapping my neck as I return it. For less than a second they widen acknowledging my presence then the look changes. Her brown eyes suddenly fill with something else, something so heavy it as though a shock it put through my body originating from her's. The fire burning there makes me stagger like a single shifting tectonic plate in play for an earthquake. Her powerful eyes persuade me to move closer. Her aura climbs in degrees as I near the stage, tinged desire; my eyes stay on her. I move toward her and she seems to move toward me. She comes at me in sections. A faint smirk curves along her lips.